What Is The Deal With Farts?

[proforguns]

I like to fart around babies I try to get the moms to check the kids diapers if they do its a WINNER!

 

[Wolfwood]

^^ hah!

 

[ROGER4314]

As I amble into old age, I realize that true genius in farting rests with the older man. I tried my best all during my life but it wasn't until the age of 60 that my true talent became apparent. I have arrived at farting perfection!

Flash

 

[Wolfwood]

i jsut let one go that smelled like jalapenos and dog shit...

and i havent eaten peppers lately....

or dog shit ever.
wtf IS the dela with these things?

 

[Texas1911]

Beer ... well carbonated beer is the key I've found to fart ammo.

I like the ones that feel warm ... and you know it's about t-minus 3 to chemical warfare revitalization. When I'm loaded up like that in public, I like to crop dust an empty aisle then laugh when people walk through my cloud of death.

Best place to do it? ... How about in the middle of Nanci Pelosi's speech to the effect that it sounds like a trumpet is practicing on the balcony. I'd actually watch CSPAN for that kind of action.

 

[Wolfwood]

HAH!
nice.
add some popcorn to that beer and youve got anal anthrax.
literally capable of wilting letucce in seconds.

speakign of c-span i saw Rep Poe from beumont grilling eric holder hardcore the otherday over the AZ bill.
basically backed him into a corner and systematically verbally lacerated him and let him bleed out. it was brutal.
you can catch some really quality stuff from time to time.

 

[DoubleActionCHL]

Nah. The best fart is the high velocity eruption while sitting on a hardwood church pew. You know the one; sounds like a short burst of automatic weapon fire. If you're going to fart it church, make it memorable.

 

[drummingchevy]

I love me a good fart joke, and some of these are hilarious!

I don't know about you guys, but coffee doesn't like me. It's a pick-up and a laxative and it makes for some of the worst smelling air anyone has ever experienced. I've lived in 2 different dorm rooms and both of them permanently carried the stench when I moved out. I even got charged for the first one for creating "an unpleasant living atmosphere," as the charge ticket explained and I scrubbed that place cleaned from top to bottom before I left. I'm afraid to let these types loose in public because I'm honestly afraid that if someone has never dealt with anything like it, they may go into shock or have a heart attack.

 

[Wolfwood]

I love me a good fart joke, and some of these are hilarious!

I don't know about you guys, but coffee doesn't like me. It's a pick-up and a laxative and it makes for some of the worst smelling air anyone has ever experienced. I've lived in 2 different dorm rooms and both of them permanently carried the stench when I moved out. I even got charged for the first one for creating "an unpleasant living atmosphere," as the charge ticket explained and I scrubbed that place cleaned from top to bottom before I left. I'm afraid to let these types loose in public because I'm honestly afraid that if someone has never dealt with anything like it, they may go into shock or have a heart attack.

 

[TrailDust]

The two things that do it for me are nectarines and curry. Nectarines give me gas that smells like pure, unadulterated hydrogen sulfide.... But hands down the worst is curry, which I don't eat anymore because the effects are so severe. I was visiting my Dad's once and he made chili with some curry in it, and later that night I let out a little *bink* while sitting with the family in the living room. Next thing I know Dad is saying, "Oooh....OOOOH!!! What the hell is that???" I kid you not that one teeny tiny little fart cleared out that room for over 45 minutes, and that was with the windows open. Thank goodness we all could move out to the back patio for some clear air....

 

[DoubleActionCHL]

Chili with curry? That's BLASPHEMY!!!

Dried apricots! They could fuel the planet.

 

[JustaPhule]

IMHO nothing fuels room clearers like pickled eggs and beer. You just have to give it a little time to percolate.

 

[TrailDust]

Chili with curry? That's BLASPHEMY!!!

He doesn't put much in his chili--just a tad--but for me just a tad is enough!

IMHO nothing fuels room clearers like pickled eggs and beer. You just have to give it a little time to percolate.

Have you ever given nectarines a try?

 

[Greg_TX]

The ideal place? How about an escalator, about two steps above the person behind you. Let 'er rip - head shot!

 

[Dcav]

The ideal place? How about an escalator, about two steps above the person behind you. Let 'er rip - head shot!

Grocery store aisle, cropdust it, then head to the next aisle over and listen lol

 

[rosebud99]

hard bolied eggs and a glass of milk turn me into a bio-warfare cropduster

 

[chad]

A can of soda in the morning always works wonders for me. Doesn't affect smell much, but if you're going for quantity and volume, that's the way to go.

 

[dobarker]

Don't smoke anymore, but when I did, for some reason Marlboro Reds always produced an aweful smell out the other end.

 

[Dcav]

How about farting in an elevator being sure to blame someone else.

 

[West Texas]

I am appauled that grown men would be discussing this subject...besides, this is too good of a thread to let it go to the bottom...so to speak...

After working youth camps for more years than I care to remember, nothing about farts scare me anymore...