The way I learned self defense was not easy nor pain free
That is excellent. It means your training is realistic!
For instance, on Sudo, open hand, if the blow was not on target, it bruised my fingers so I adapted and curled my fingers in to prevent that.
That's really what it's all about. Some people teach techniques because that's the way they've always been taught, regardless if there's room for improvement. If something doesn't work, change it so it does or discard it. Adapt and overcome!