BTW, I did much better the second time around. A few weeks ago I showed my wife a picture of a gun for sale and told her I'd really like to have that. "Well, just go ahead and buy it. You work hard, you deserve it." (Even with that "free pass", I couldn't justify spending the money as it was priced high, so I didn't get it.) If you're looking for an indication of what a good wife says, this is a great example.
Personally, I can’t recommend the therapist/counselor route. Tried that once didn’t work... just cost money (for nothing). Of course, it probably didn’t help to allow the ex- to select the therapist lady, who turned out to be a “man hater”, in her own right!
Personally, I can’t recommend the therapist/counselor route. Tried that once didn’t work... just cost money (for nothing). Of course, it probably didn’t help to allow the ex- to select the therapist lady, who turned out to be a “man hater”, in her own right!
Is she single?Years ago I started a list of the names of sane women I've met. So far, this is the list I've compiled:
1.
After 12 years and one child, my first marriage went south.
We divorced.
It didn't leave me bitter.
Until this thread, I rarely ever think about her, but many seem to still stew over their ex. even after many, many years have elapsed.
Please, don't do this to yourself.
Forgetting is the best medicine.
Been happily married now over 40 years.
If not for significant counseling about a decade ago, Mrs Pronstar and I would be divorced.
It helped us to save our marriage...YMMV
One note:
Our counselor went in with a blank slate. She basically said “let’s go thru this and see what the best outcome will be. If a divorce is in your best interests, I can facilitate that. And if there’s something worth salvaging, I can facilitate staying together”.
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It takes 2 to tango. Aka- there are 2 sides of the story.
Makes sure ya'll air it out with a 3rd party that is neutral, aka therapist.
This decision will mean that your kids would/could come under the rule of another man.
There is only one pair of pants in a marriage. One leg is for you, the other leg is for her.
Have ya'll gotten away from the kids and had a vacation/weekend together?
My parents were divorced when I was about 8-9. Kids handle it. Summer with my dad and his new family, rest of year with mother. Great relationship with my 2 half brothers.
I tried to hold a marriage together coming from a childhood with divorce but it just didn't work. Therapist BS in my opinion. If you don't think you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner that's it. Move on but try not to fight. Work things out with as little lawyer input as possible. Find happiness again. One third of marriages are good, one third are not and 1/3 may be just people tolerating each other.
Life is too short to spend all of it with the wrong person.
Counseling works if both parties want to save the marriage. And a good counselor can save a marriage, or give the couple the tools to save their marriage.
If only one party wants the save the marriage, then the money spent on a counselor is wasted, and better spent on a lawyer.
About two years into our marriage, Mrs. Axxe and I went through a really rough time, and we almost divorced. We were actually separated for about four months, and we used our preacher as a counselor. It put our marriage back on track. I don't think either is really wanted to divorce. So sixteen years later, it seems to be working!
Mrs. C an and i went through a rough spot a while ago. Went to a counselor. Turned out to be a neutral place to vent, which was personally, greatly better than the silent treatment, or a facsimile there of. As Pron said, comms are important. Celebrating 32 years in a week and a half. Happy as a clam.
My parents were divorced when I was about 8-9. Kids handle it. S.