Pissy-Teenage daughter, on her period...

[rotor]

Raised two girls myself. Consider that she may have endometriosis which causes really severe cramps and may be the reason for her "attitude". Birth control pills can really be very helpful in lowering the intensity of the pain and can even be taken to eliminate periods. May even preserve future fertility. Maybe time for that first gyn visit.
Glad men don't have these monthly misery.

 

[striker55]

Don't get me started, one of mine drove me nuts. Lived out in the country, if I didn't give her a ride she'd call 911. Deputy would come out to house, said you have to listen to your parents. She would ask them for a ride. One psychologist suggested we get her an apartment to relieve the tension. I got up and left his office.

 

[oldag]

Disciplining children is one of the most difficult things in life. Certainly the most difficult aspect of parenting. I do not have all the answers. The Good Lord does, I do not. Lots of prayer for His guidance is strongly recommended.

I raised mine in much the same way I was raised.

The fact you are asking questions does not mean you have done wrong. It means you are giving this thought and you are a normal human being.

Each child is different. Some are more compliant, some are more strong willed. Methods will vary accordingly.

Make sure they know you love them. Tell them. That verbalization does not always come easy for some of us older folks.

Be consistent. Exceptions should be exceedingly rare. Kids will seize on the exception, try to make it the norm and remind you of it frequently.

You and your wife must be on the same page. Never let the child go around one of you to the other. You and your wife must be consistent with each other.

Do not let the discipline fall on just one parent (in whole or in majority). Your wife must participate and deliver the discipline when appropriate.

One of mine gave me fits. But one of the greatest moments of my life, which I will never forget, was having a 19YO just walk up, hug me and say "Thanks for how you raised me."

May the Good Lord guide you.

 

[Moonpie]

Tell her you can get close to $2.1mil for her from white slavers in the middle east.
You’re just a phone call away from solving both of your problems.

 

[Axxe55]

Disciplining children is one of the most difficult things in life. Certainly the most difficult aspect of parenting. I do not have all the answers. The Good Lord does, I do not. Lots of prayer for His guidance is strongly recommended.

I raised mine in much the same way I was raised.

The fact you are asking questions does not mean you have done wrong. It means you are giving this thought and you are a normal human being.

Each child is different. Some are more compliant, some are more strong willed. Methods will vary accordingly.

Make sure they know you love them. Tell them. That verbalization does not always come easy for some of us older folks.

Be consistent. Exceptions should be exceedingly rare. Kids will seize on the exception, try to make it the norm and remind you of it frequently.

You and your wife must be on the same page. Never let the child go around one of you to the other. You and your wife must be consistent with each other.

Do not let the discipline fall on just one parent (in whole or in majority). Your wife must participate and deliver the discipline when appropriate.

One of mine gave me fits. But one of the greatest moments of my life, which I will never forget, was having a 19YO just walk up, hug me and say "Thanks for how you raised me."

May the Good Lord guide you.

I like this advice. Seems very sound.

 

[paknheat]

She might need some Jocko in her life

I listen to this every few weeks. Snaps me outta my pussy mentally when I’m weak.

I like Jocko’s podcast. My favorites are when he gets old vets who have written books on for interviews.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

 

[seeker_two]

There's always gender-modification surgery.....that seems to be the thing nowadays....

 

[benenglish]

A minor administrative point, if you don't mind.

OP, why did you post this in Military Vets? If there's some reason, cool. If, upon reflection, you think it might be better somewhere else, PM me and I can move it for you.

This is not a rebuke; it's curiosity.

 

[ATN2]

Mostly...

Then I think you should try to be a little more reasonable and understanding when she's having a period

 

[studenygreg]

Buy land. Place a tiny house/RV/Tent on it . Go camping for the week. Do this every month until they move out.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

 

[studenygreg]

Someone should ask fork.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

 

[AZ Refugee]

I have been thinking about this since I saw it earlier today. I think it is reasonable for a parent to require a level of respect period. I think most parents allow their kids to go off the rails to some extend based on a situation. I raised a daughter and was aware of her mood swings and gave her a little latitude. However since we live in a society that demands equality all of the time on everything else, who cares if you are having cramps, no excuse for poor behavior. No different than having a bad or hard day at work, we men are expected to not come home and take it our on our families. I found that my wife was the best one to set up ground rules regarding behavior during "that time". My wife was worse than I was

 

[Texasjack]

The best we can do is pray for you and hope you survive her teen years.

Sons are much, much easier. When they go through puberty, their brains shut down. Or at least parts of their brains. They can eat, walk, chew gum, play video games - but they can't get the mail, turn off the TV, move the garbage can, put on shoes, etc. You find yourself saying things like, "Put your shoes and socks on. Wait! Socks first." Seriously.

Daughters have hormones and they are not attached to any sort of logic. They will hate you, but they will hate their mothers more. EVERYTHING you say causes them anguish and they can roll their eyes all the way up into their brain pan. You will want to kill them as much as they want to kill you. Late at night you will weep over the loss of that loving child that you once knew.

This is all part of God's Plan. If they remained cute and lovable, you might just keep them around forever. Nope. It's time to push them out of the nest. They need to go to work or college or marriage or the military or just whatever. Normally, you would never let a boy date your daughter. Now you will willingly accept whatever dirtbag she drags home in hope that somehow she will kill and devour him instead of you. It's all good.

Then, one day, the tide will turn. With me, it went like this: My son called and asked, "Hey, Dad, what's this FICA thing on my paycheck?" Me: "Well son, welcome to my world. FICA is your federal taxes." Son: "But they took a whole bunch of my money!!" Me: "Yes, son, and they are going to waste it on coke and whores." Son: "So that's why you were always bitching about taxes! These people are thieves!!"

I got a tear in my eye at that point, knowing that my son had made it past those horrible teen years and into adulthood where we could finally have real conversations again.

My neighbor had 3 daughters and no sons. He spent 12 years living in the garage and drinking heavily. No man should have to suffer like that. He took a couple of them and their friends to see a boy-band concert when they were around 13. He couldn't hear a thing for almost a week. He still has a nervous tic from time to time.

 

[jrbfishn]

My current wife and my stepdaughters quickly found out that unlike the other men that had been in their lives, I was not at all embarassed about "that time". I could be somewhat sympathetic. It is a normal part of life. For both sexes, get over it.
But they also found out that they could not use it as an excuse for bad behavior. If it is that bad, need to go to the doctor. As a teen, it makes everyone's life miserable. Not acceptable behavior. As an adult, the possible consequences is jail.
Learn how to deal with it now while you have people around that care about you. In jail, they don't care.

Sent from my SM-S906U using Tapatalk

 

[outdare]

I have 4 daughters. My older two are 13/15. Our older daughter had rough cycles. We opted to put her on birth control to help even out her hormones. She was on the BC for about 3 months and her cycle evened out and has stayed that way so far. Hormones are hard to deal with when you are old much less for someone with out any personal tools to handle them.

Sent from my moto g power (2021) using Tapatalk

 

[Vaquero]

Navajo Hogan.

 

[toddnjoyce]

Navajo Hogan.

Ate there a time or two before it burned down. Good times.

 

[Fishkiller]

I am late to this party. I raised 3 daughters (actually my wife did, I traveled a lot) Anyway we never wavered on our expectations of behavior from the time they started walking and talking until they left the house. There were times of struggle but times was different. For instance cell phones were not prevalent until they were about 14 and they got them at 16. We kept them too busy to be "pissy" with school, sports etc. It was a bother hauling them to events and even summer jobs, but we did what needed to be done. I guess I was lucky as all three never said they hate me, ever. The thing I am going for here is be consistent, in your expectations and discipline. Regards and that is al I got to say about that.

 

[EZ-E]

I've got 2 daughters 14 & 16.

Try not to yell, keep your voice calm. Tone & even facial expressions can make the conversation worse. No matter what hug as often as possible.

Also school just started so there could be other issues going on to add to the drama at the house.

 

[EZ-E]

I will also add, there is a fine balance between dictator & dad. Yes you have to put your foot down, but some issues you don't always have to be a hard ass on them. Talk to them not like the idiots they can be sometimes but as a human & your child.


I'm fighting this demon myself of being a hard ass when I don't have to be. My relationship between my youngest & myself is suffering because of it. It's hard for dad's to bond with a teenage daughters. Just don't make it tougher than it needs to be.