Am I out of line for being mad at this

[kusai]

Friend Bonnie and I were discussing a related matter recently. I told Bonnie about an article that I read about habits of successful and wealthy people.

The article stated that successful people hang around with positive, productive and similarly successful people. Further, they refuse to hang around, negative, whiny, self destructive people. That kid of person is like an anchor chain for a happy life! It's OK to avoid negative people. It's OK to keep negative relatives at a distance to preserve your happiness and success!

My advice? Love him because he's family and blood but minimize his influence on you. Distance is the best security. What he did with that generous gift was probably legal, but it wasn't right. Once given, it was his to do with it as he wanted.

You know now, how he is and he can only provide more of the same. The firearm gift was a good learning tool. Stay away from him!

Flash

Thats the kind of life advice I always love hearing from Elders. Thanks you

 

[kusai]

Meh, I can top that.

I have a few cars since I keep them instead of trade them in. So niece comes to visit, and one thing leads to another, asks for our Tahoe (99 mint) as they have baby and 1 car and husband works. So she has to drive him to work and pick him up, etc. I get it, that sucks. So we give them car. 2 weeks later we find out husband just got a company car. So now they have three cars, one being the one we gave them. Ask if we need it back or would like to have it? Of course not. They sell it for cash and keep the money. In fact to this day they have not told us of this. We found out from other family member. On top of that, other than verbal thank-you when niece picked it up, have heard nothing, not even a thank you from husband.

Bernie supporters of course, everything should be free. From us that can afford to them that cannot.

Duh I can top yours too. I had someone in the family even ask me to add her to my insurance and help her with gas a few time. Started the sobbing story how if i took back her car she would not be able to get to work and blah blah blah.

 

[Mreed911]

No he was and is a texas resident. which is why i questioned.

Not according to your post:

He then later on moved to seattle and... after couple of years moved back to texas. While moving back he didn't bring back the shotgun

So, him having lived in Seattle for a "couple of years," he's definitely a resident of Washington, and your post indicates he disposed of the shotgun while in Washington as a resident of Washington.

What am I missing?

 

[kusai]

Not according to your post:



So, him having lived in Seattle for a "couple of years," he's definitely a resident of Washington, and your post indicates he disposed of the shotgun while in Washington as a resident of Washington.

What am I missing?

Well cause he just lived there, but used Texas id and address.

 

[Mreed911]

Well cause he just lived there, but used Texas id and address.

From Washington Sate DOR (emphasis mine):

Persons are considered residents of this state for sales and use tax purposes if they take actions which indicate that they intend to live in this state on more than a temporary or transient basis. A person may be considered a resident of this state even though the person is a resident of another state.

The Department of Revenue presumes that a person is a resident of this state if he or she does any of the following:
Maintains a residence in Washington for personal use;

 

[Orbie]

I agree that once you give a gift to someone they can then do whatever they like with it.

However, I would be bummed if I gave a gift and someone passed it up or dismissed it. Especially if it was a firearm.

 

[sidebite252]

Which is more important - your brother or the shotgun?

I vote for the Shotgun!

 

[Fragman]

I've seen this many times. Bob gifts something to Stan, usually because of a particular set of circumstances, maybe Stan is broke.
Circumstances change, and Stan sells or otherwise disposes of the item. Bob is pissed.

This is because Bob gave it to Stan due to the circumstances at the time of the gift. He would not have gifted it to Stan under the existing circumstances.

Stan believes the item is his to dispose of.

Who is right? Well, that depends. Did Bob place any conditions on the gift? If so, was it really a gift, or was it a loan or a sale on extended credit terms?

Some people seem to have a tendency to feel some continued sense of ownership on gifts they give someone.

If Bob calls it a gift, then that should be exactly what it is. A gift. And Stan is free to do with it what he wants. If there are conditions, then that means that Bob should have stated these up front. Something along the lines of, 'borrow this for as long as you need', or 'Pay me when you can'.

And, if Stan never does anything for Bob, well, maybe Stan is just a turd, or maybe he thinks Bob doesn't need help and maybe pays it forward to Tom as he is a charitable guy.

 

[ROGER4314]

A gift of a firearm is a different breed of cat. That type of gift centers around care and concerns over safety, it says "I love you and care about you" and goes far beyond the transfer of another object. I can understand how the uncaring way the gun was disposed of, could chap the giver.

I gave friend Bonnie my Glock 26 for a BD present and she became proficient with that pistol. As her confidence improved, she became a High Master high power rifle competitor, became a Corrections Officer (now retired) obtained her CHL and that G26 changed her entire life!

That's what is possible with a considerate gift of a firearm. It's a shame that your gift hit with a dull thud.

Flash

 

[kusai]

I vote for the Shotgun!

Me tooo lol

 

[London]

Trust me I really know hundreds of people who blow out close to million every year in charity at community center or handing it out to priest. But are too broke to help a man in need even a few hundred bucks.

Did I ever mention I'm an ordained priest? Because I am. (Thanks, Universal Life Church!)

 

[ROGER4314]

Did I ever mention I'm an ordained priest? Because I am. (Thanks, Universal Life Church!)

WTH! I guess that I better clean up my language!

Flash

 

[Charlie]

A gift is a gift. Once it's done, it's his.

 

[London]

WTH! I guess that I better clean up my language!

Flash

"Sin so that you may be forgiven."

 

[Texas42]

Trust me I really know hundreds of people who blow out close to million every year in charity at community center or handing it out to priest. But are too broke to help a man in need even a few hundred bucks.

Im sorry, but this statement is silly. Hundreds of dollars is a fraction of a percent of one million dollars. A person may not be willing to give a fellow person a few hundred dollars, but if the are able to shell out the big bucks, then the small bucks is easy. They also would have a net worth well over 10 million, probably more like >20 million. . . .

If a few hundred bucks changes their lives, then giving the a few hundred bucks will not help them.

I still don't get the OP's statement about giving money to charity, but complaining about money. Is he broke? Could he have just pawned it? If this makes you feel that bad, they I'd not give your brother any gift that would make you upset if he sold it or gave it away.

 

[TheDan]

...blowing $8-10K on charity and constantly whining about money to me gets irritating.

I also get really annoyed at people that have money blow all of it, and then complain about being "broke." They have no idea what it's like to actually not have money.

I spend all my money on crap I don't need, but I enjoy it; not complain about it

A gift of a firearm is a different breed of cat. That type of gift centers around care and concerns over safety, it says "I love you and care about you" and goes far beyond the transfer of another object. I can understand how the uncaring way the gun was disposed of, could chap the giver.

I think it depends on the type of gun. I see most guns the same as a hammer; it's just a tool. Grandma's beat up ole .22 she used to kill pests in her garden is a little different. Of course I'd feel the same about a "family hammer", too.

Did I ever mention I'm an ordained priest? Because I am. (Thanks, Universal Life Church!)

lol, me too. I got it to officiate a friend's wedding, but they decided against it. It's minister, tho... not priest.

 

[deemus]

A gift is a gift. Once it's done, it's his.

I agree with this. If I give a gift, its no strings attached. If they can somehow profit from that, good for them. If they keep it and treasure it, good for me. I have a strong friendship.

But family is family. When your friends are gone, family will be there. Even if you don't like them. I got a couple I don't like, but I love them and would do (read "have done") anything for them.

 

[fishingsetx]

The OP sounds like my wife. She will give someone something (say a piece of furnature), then a year or two later, they will upgrade or decide they dont need it and sell it. She'll get upset that they didnt ask her if she wanted it back! (Usually she knows someone else that she wants to "give" it to).

Im in the "a gift is a gift" camp. If I give someone something, I expect nothing in return. Also, their personal finances are none of my business unless they are asking me for money (gift or loan). I also have absolutely no qualms about telling them to quit complaining if they blow their money (gift, purchase, etc) and are then broke. Ive told several friends, family members and even my mom that quite a few times! Heck, Ive told my brother that so many times that he doesnt complain about it to me anymore!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk

 

[Charlie]

I do have a couple of good friends I've sold guns to (for no profit on my part) that I've asked to be first in line if they ever want to sell what I gave them. I've only done this a couple of times and bought one back 'cause the friend I sold it to wanted the same type of gun but a higher end model.