I've worked in a gun store that also has an indoor range for about 1.5 years now. I've met all kinds of people from all over the world and I figured I'd post up some of the perspective from the other side of the counter. This is more or less a satirical thread.
The Video Gamer - This person is usually under the age of 25 and wants to live out his video game fantasy life of COD:2 MW. He'll skip the vintage Singer 1911 and go straight for the tactical tupperware like a coyote on a wounded rabbit. Go a SCAR? He'll know everything about it before it arrives, including what unit uses it, what it fires, what it sounds like, and what it looks like in a red digital camo pattern.
The Middle-Aged White Guy - This person is usually above the age of 40 and goes for either a 1911 or a S&W .357. They have visions of Dirty Harry in mind and like to tell you about stories of how a 9mm to the forehead will give you a headache and how a .45 ACP can sink a Battleship four miles out with a single grazing blow.
The Quiet Professional - This person comes in, smiles, buys what he wants, and leaves. You later find out he was a SEAL team leader, runs a Fortune 500 company, and likes to come in and draw smiley faces with a Mk11 Mod 0 in his off-time. He takes his laser sighting so serious that he uses a spotting scope to ensure that his Sig P226 is putting the bullet in the same hole. (This is not a joke, this person exists and is a customer of ours)
The Redneck - This type of customer likes to come in and enthrall you with his tails of killing Bambi with his .270 at ranges that are measured in miles. He'll shoot nothing that isn't a .270 unless it has Magnum at the end of it because he "doesn't want to chase the animal". The only thing he wants in life is more ammo, more guns, and more beer ... and for Dale Jr. to win the race this weekend and for the South to rise again. (Hell yeah)
The Usual Woman - This probably won't make many friends, but most women want the unobtanium gun. They want it to be light, they want it to have no recoil, and they want it to be easy. The upside is that they are more open minded and accepting of what you have to say than most men.
The Overbearing Husband - Straight out of the Middle Ages this guy is primed to tell his woman servant that she wants (read: needs) an airweight S&W J-Frame or some other lightweight, micromachine .380 that recoils like you just lit off a blackcat in your hand and with a trigger pull rated in metric tonnage. Don't bother telling him any different ... he knows best.
The Unusual Woman - This is the gal all of us gun nuts want for a wife. She comes in with an open mind, tries a few things, and goes for a good choice. The downside is that she'll out shoot you in a days time and you'll be frustrated to hell that it took you a year to learn how to shoot that well.
The Mall Ninja - This person is the guy that lives on ARFCOM and knows everything there is to know about tactical gear and nothing on how to actually use it. Their AR15 will leave the store with more attachments than their vacuum cleaner, and with no explicit guarantee they can actually hit something at 200 yards. Everything has to be tacticool (I feel lame just typing that), and looks far outweigh actual usefulness. Don't dare be caught with something traditional around this purveyor of the tactical plastic.
The Old Grouchy Guy - This fine gentleman doesn't want anything but a .380 in some kind of pocket pistol. He'll swear to you that it has no recoil and that a full size metal 9mm handgun is too much for him. He'll come in once a week to ask for .380 ammo, and when you have none he'll complain about it like he's somehow been living under a rock for the past couple years.
The Fanboy - This individual will like only one thing, and he'll try to convince you that everything else is inferior trash incapable of doing anything to the standard of whatever it is he likes. Commonalities include; loving Glocks, loving 1911s, and loving AK47s.
The Expert - This guy already knows what he wants and simply wants to know if you have it. He'll know more about it than you do, whether or not you actually do or don't, and doesn't want to be bothered by your plebian opinion.
The Old School Cop - This guy is a laid back cop with years of dealing with idiots. He'll come in, shoot the shit, and leave. Always has good stories and occassionally actually buys something. Always a pleasure when he rolls in.
The New School Cop - This guy is usually an uptight asshole with something to prove. Likes to flaunt what your tax money bought him, and has to always feel like they are better than you in some fashion. As an aside, most of these guys can't hit the broad side of a barn with a 10 gauge at arms length.
The Governor - He comes in, kisses hands and shakes babies. Doesn't buy anything but he's so quirky and gregarious that it's always fun to have him around. His entourage of DPS agents are always "Old School Cop" types. He even lets us check out his Class III items, and packs enough heat to be his on mobile security force. (Our Gov. gasses coyotes and owns NFA items ... hell yeah)
The Regular - These guys are what make working in a gun store worthwhile. They are good people of all walks of life that like to come in, stay a while, and go home. Full of good info, good stories, and good personalities. I know every one of our regulars and look forward to seeing them every week.
The Video Gamer - This person is usually under the age of 25 and wants to live out his video game fantasy life of COD:2 MW. He'll skip the vintage Singer 1911 and go straight for the tactical tupperware like a coyote on a wounded rabbit. Go a SCAR? He'll know everything about it before it arrives, including what unit uses it, what it fires, what it sounds like, and what it looks like in a red digital camo pattern.
The Middle-Aged White Guy - This person is usually above the age of 40 and goes for either a 1911 or a S&W .357. They have visions of Dirty Harry in mind and like to tell you about stories of how a 9mm to the forehead will give you a headache and how a .45 ACP can sink a Battleship four miles out with a single grazing blow.
The Quiet Professional - This person comes in, smiles, buys what he wants, and leaves. You later find out he was a SEAL team leader, runs a Fortune 500 company, and likes to come in and draw smiley faces with a Mk11 Mod 0 in his off-time. He takes his laser sighting so serious that he uses a spotting scope to ensure that his Sig P226 is putting the bullet in the same hole. (This is not a joke, this person exists and is a customer of ours)
The Redneck - This type of customer likes to come in and enthrall you with his tails of killing Bambi with his .270 at ranges that are measured in miles. He'll shoot nothing that isn't a .270 unless it has Magnum at the end of it because he "doesn't want to chase the animal". The only thing he wants in life is more ammo, more guns, and more beer ... and for Dale Jr. to win the race this weekend and for the South to rise again. (Hell yeah)
The Usual Woman - This probably won't make many friends, but most women want the unobtanium gun. They want it to be light, they want it to have no recoil, and they want it to be easy. The upside is that they are more open minded and accepting of what you have to say than most men.
The Overbearing Husband - Straight out of the Middle Ages this guy is primed to tell his woman servant that she wants (read: needs) an airweight S&W J-Frame or some other lightweight, micromachine .380 that recoils like you just lit off a blackcat in your hand and with a trigger pull rated in metric tonnage. Don't bother telling him any different ... he knows best.
The Unusual Woman - This is the gal all of us gun nuts want for a wife. She comes in with an open mind, tries a few things, and goes for a good choice. The downside is that she'll out shoot you in a days time and you'll be frustrated to hell that it took you a year to learn how to shoot that well.
The Mall Ninja - This person is the guy that lives on ARFCOM and knows everything there is to know about tactical gear and nothing on how to actually use it. Their AR15 will leave the store with more attachments than their vacuum cleaner, and with no explicit guarantee they can actually hit something at 200 yards. Everything has to be tacticool (I feel lame just typing that), and looks far outweigh actual usefulness. Don't dare be caught with something traditional around this purveyor of the tactical plastic.
The Old Grouchy Guy - This fine gentleman doesn't want anything but a .380 in some kind of pocket pistol. He'll swear to you that it has no recoil and that a full size metal 9mm handgun is too much for him. He'll come in once a week to ask for .380 ammo, and when you have none he'll complain about it like he's somehow been living under a rock for the past couple years.
The Fanboy - This individual will like only one thing, and he'll try to convince you that everything else is inferior trash incapable of doing anything to the standard of whatever it is he likes. Commonalities include; loving Glocks, loving 1911s, and loving AK47s.
The Expert - This guy already knows what he wants and simply wants to know if you have it. He'll know more about it than you do, whether or not you actually do or don't, and doesn't want to be bothered by your plebian opinion.
The Old School Cop - This guy is a laid back cop with years of dealing with idiots. He'll come in, shoot the shit, and leave. Always has good stories and occassionally actually buys something. Always a pleasure when he rolls in.
The New School Cop - This guy is usually an uptight asshole with something to prove. Likes to flaunt what your tax money bought him, and has to always feel like they are better than you in some fashion. As an aside, most of these guys can't hit the broad side of a barn with a 10 gauge at arms length.
The Governor - He comes in, kisses hands and shakes babies. Doesn't buy anything but he's so quirky and gregarious that it's always fun to have him around. His entourage of DPS agents are always "Old School Cop" types. He even lets us check out his Class III items, and packs enough heat to be his on mobile security force. (Our Gov. gasses coyotes and owns NFA items ... hell yeah)
The Regular - These guys are what make working in a gun store worthwhile. They are good people of all walks of life that like to come in, stay a while, and go home. Full of good info, good stories, and good personalities. I know every one of our regulars and look forward to seeing them every week.
