Redneck Jumper Cables

[OldPhart]

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[ZX9RCAM]

Funny picture....

 

[Madhouse]

Centerpoint linemen left these monsters behind after doing some transformer work in our yard.

 

[Dawico]

A thick piece of wire and a piece of rebar found on a jobsite works too. Ask me how I know.....

 

[TXAZ]

IF both vehicles have exposed metal bumpers, you can use a single 10 ga wire between the positive terminals and touch the bumpers together

 

[Maverick44]

I've seen worse.

 

[TreyG-20]

I don't recommend this, but....
Once upon a time I had a cute girl stay over. In the morning her jeep wouldn't start because she left the radio on. I didn't have a pair of Jumper cables around or any thick gauge wire. I decided to use an old PS2 controller. I cut the wire in half stripped the ends and clamped them onto my trucks battery terminals, while I held the other ends onto her battery terminals. That controller wire nearly went up in flames when she cranked her jeep over. It started though and she got herself the hell out of my place. Best use of an old PS2 controller I've ever had. Okay maybe a little San Andreas was a better use at the time. Still I'm shocked that it worked.

 

[G O B]

IF both vehicles have exposed metal bumpers, you can use a single 10 ga wire between the positive terminals and touch the bumpers together

I miss steel bumpers, jumped many cars by touching bumpers, and using some combo of bumper jacks and handles.

 

[TexMex247]

I hate to say, most of them are so cheaply made these days, your better off making some from bulk 2 ga cable. I've had countless customers call me out saying their car wouldn't start with jumper cables. Popped on my noco booster pack and they fire right up. Usually it's the crappy clamps with a chicken shit chunk of copper only on one side of the clamp, coupled with thin gauge Chinese cable with insulation so thick you think it's heavy cable but it's 8 or 6 gauge at best.

 

[Younggun]

If only there were a thread for posts like this.

Maybe start a poll to see if we should start a thread dedicated to amusing photos or something.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

If only there were a thread for posts like this.

Maybe start a poll to see if we should start a thread dedicated to amusing photos or something.

See post #2.

 

[Younggun]

See post #2.

I thought my way was funnier.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

I thought my way was funnier.

Yes, but mine involved a little bit of thought.

 

[Younggun]

Yes, but mine involved a little bit of thought.

C’mon now, don’t start setting standards you know I can’t meet.

 

[Sasquatch]

IF both vehicles have exposed metal bumpers, you can use a single 10 ga wire between the positive terminals and touch the bumpers together

I've heard of that before, I think some folks call it "docking" - you may need to google just to be sure.

 

[TXAZ]

I've heard of that before, I think some folks call it "docking" - you may need to google just to be sure.

Yep I believe that’s right.
we had a crappy set of jumpers that wouldn’t turn the starter. Touched bumpers, put both cheap aluminum jumpers from positiv to positive on the batteries and Viola!

 

[Sasquatch]

The quality of jumpers definitely has gone to shit.

What's really embarassing is AAA's own branded auto-rescue kits that have jumper cables, first aid kit etc had such shitty jumper cables as to be next to useless.

And TexMex is spot on - the typical cables now have absolute dogshit clamps, only connected on one side, with piss poor conductivity on the actual connected side, and way too small of a wire to be effective.

I've rolled up on calls where customers were trying to jump shit themselves, and despite having it connected "properly" - the cables were hot as **** from all the resistance, and the car still wouldn't start. Throw a jump box on it and BAM, fired right up. Except diesels. Fucking hate jump starting diesels when the batteries are drained. Too many times I've needed the truck's cables + two jump boxes to jump off a diesel. Goes from a 5 minute $35 call to a 45 minute $35 call. Working comission at 33% that meant going from $20-30 / hr average to $12. Upshot was that dead diesels were usually easier to sell new batteries to (unless they had new batteries in them and guy legit just left their lights on for a day) so we'd get a $300+ sale fairly easy out of those scenarios when I ran a battery service company. Paid our guys hourly + bonus so if they were in bonus territory, they could make their wage ($18 hr typically) + 15% so they'd wind up making about $40 for that hour of work.

 

[Younggun]

I hate it when customers start jump shitting themselves.

 

[Younggun]

I've heard of that before, I think some folks call it "docking" - you may need to google just to be sure.

I thought this was one of those tricks to make people google something terrible, lol.

 

[Sasquatch]

I thought this was one of those tricks to make people google something terrible, lol.

It was! No one fell for it (and admitted it)