My mother's cancer has returned

[2ManyGuns]

I have not been posting anything lately, things were looking pretty good, a few weeks back at a routine scan, new growths were noticed in the lower back, Stage IIIC, no cure medically possible. Friday we finished a week of radiation treatments, and we will next be starting an immuno-therapy regimen and a mild chemotherapy. A reservoir will be installed at the head area, and a catheter run through the brain area so the fluid surrounding the brain can be targeted for cancer cells.

I have not told her this is medically incurable, she still has the will to fight and I want her to keep fighting. The treatments are meant to keep her quality of life, at a "good" status. The radiation was to prevent paralysis.

I don't know if I'm right or selfish by not telling her. I would rather see the fighter I know than someone despondent. I have made peace with the inevitable, but I can't destroy her by telling her.

 

[msharley]

Prayer sent for your whole Family....

 

[Mohawk600]

You're doing the right thing.

 

[Iowashooter]

Adding your mother, you and her caregivers to our prayer list.

When I have tough decisions, I try to do as my pastor says- “do your best, pray it‘s blessed, leave the rest up to God”

 

[no2gates]

Very sorry to hear that.
If it were you, would you want to know? Could backfire if she finds out from the doctors and that you knew.

 

[2ManyGuns]

I even traded my truck in today for an SUV, it was a busy day. I drove my 1500 just to the oncologist (mom has been having increased difficulty getting in even with running boards and my lifting assistance) and on rare occasions to work or to visit family. I have been a truck guy for most of my life, but with today's craziness, the dealership offered a bit above $30K for my 2018 with less than 32K miles. So I went with a Buick Enclave Preferred, it drove nicely for a NOT-TRUCK, very roomy for a portly fellow like myself. I still have my Duramax for hauling and possibly towing, so I'm not truck-less.

ETA, too damn many screens and a lack of real buttons, and a gear shift is going to take a bit to get used to. I do like the HUD, I can pretend I'm flying LOL!!!

 

[2ManyGuns]

Very sorry to hear that.
If it were you, would you want to know? Could backfire if she finds out from the doctors and that you knew.

She hopes to be able to go outside and work in her yard again someday, I can't take that dream of returning to normal away. This has been a hard journey since 2014 when her life started to go into the crapper.

 

[Rafe]

For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy. The mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting.

Praying for your mother and you.

 

[2ManyGuns]

Thanks to all for the prayers, it is appreciated.

 

[Texasgordo]

Reading this breaks my heart and I'm hoping for the best for your mom.

 

[pronstar]

Very hard to read…my own mom is on her deathbed and refuses to fight.

You’re doing the right thing as others have stated.

 

[crystalphoto]

Prayers sent from here...

 

[no2gates]

My mother passed just over 2 years ago from cancer. The situation was exactly the opposite though. She didn't let us know how bad things were until shortly before she passed. She had beaten cancer about 6 years ago. Then when the 'Rona virus came out, she was supposed to go in for an appointment to check up and see if she was still clear. She was afraid to catch covid, so she never went back for a followup. Well, she got real sick, found out the cancer had returned, and after she was in the hospital for 3 days, she caught the very disease she was so afraid of. Her not going in for a followup due to her fear of covid, allowed the cancer to take hold and spread to her hips, her back, and her liver.

 

[2ManyGuns]

My mother passed just over 2 years ago from cancer. The situation was exactly the opposite though. She didn't let us know how bad things were until shortly before she passed. She had beaten cancer about 6 years ago. Then when the 'Rona virus came out, she was supposed to go in for an appointment to check up and see if she was still clear. She was afraid to catch covid, so she never went back for a followup. Well, she got real sick, found out the cancer had returned, and after she was in the hospital for 3 days, she caught the very disease she was so afraid of. Her not going in for a followup due to her fear of covid, allowed the cancer to take hold and spread to her hips, her back, and her liver.

I'm sorry to hear that she let her fear win. My mother has always been a tough old lady.

 

[glenbo]

Prayer sent for your mom and family. I mentioned once before that perhaps there should be a forum just for cancer, since so many of us have family that have or have had cancer, or many of the members have or have had cancer. It's getting harder to find a family that hasn't been affected.

I hope you've done the right thing. She will be in my prayers.

 

[Axxe55]

I have not been posting anything lately, things were looking pretty good, a few weeks back at a routine scan, new growths were noticed in the lower back, Stage IIIC, no cure medically possible. Friday we finished a week of radiation treatments, and we will next be starting an immuno-therapy regimen and a mild chemotherapy. A reservoir will be installed at the head area, and a catheter run through the brain area so the fluid surrounding the brain can be targeted for cancer cells.

I have not told her this is medically incurable, she still has the will to fight and I want her to keep fighting. The treatments are meant to keep her quality of life, at a "good" status. The radiation was to prevent paralysis.

I don't know if I'm right or selfish by not telling her. I would rather see the fighter I know than someone despondent. I have made peace with the inevitable, but I can't destroy her by telling her.

PRAYERS AND WARM WISHES SHE GETS BETTER!

 

[Bigguy]

Prayers.

 

[Nicholst55]

You are making the best of a no-win situation, and you have my admiration and respect. Let your mother retain her dignity for as long as possible. Cancer sucks. Prayers sent.

 

[msharley]

Very hard to read…my own mom is on her deathbed and refuses to fight.

You’re doing the right thing as others have stated.

Prayers up for you and yours....

 

[alternative]

Hard to say this but you don't have the right to keep her prognosis from her. She must be able to make her own decisions about further treatment. I know you think you are right but let her make her choices.