Ask Texas1911 anything.

[rsayloriii]

Sure, blame it on the dog

 

[MR Redneck]

Sure, blame it on the dog

Hey, I have it norrowed down to one of them..

 

[kyletxria1911a1]

now 1911 who did it and it wasnt the butler

 

[Sid]

How do they cram all that graham?

If you could drive your car at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Can God create a rock he can't lift?

Why does this one girl get really mad at me when I tell people I don't have a girlfriend?

If I leave work north of town at 6pm, traveling south at 65mph and the said girl above leaves her work at 5:30pm, traveling north at 60mph, should she have my dinner ready by the time I get home?

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

 

[Texas1911]

What's the winning Texas Lotto numbers for this Saturday?

18 23 7 56 4

 

[Texas1911]

I have 3 labs...
When im in my office making invoices or something, how in the world do all three of them sneek past me and get under my desk without me noticing?
The only way I can tell their under there is when one of them farts!! I try to keep them out of there just because they gas me out everytime!
Yea I have a large desk, but still, thats a good 250 pounds of dogs that just slip past me.

They were sent to you by the government to spy on you.

 

[Texas1911]

now 1911 who did it and it wasnt the butler

Col. Mustard, in the Library, with the Wrench.

 

[Texas1911]

How do they cram all that graham?

With rage.

If you could drive your car at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Einstein's Theory of Relativity dictates that the speed of light in a vacuum is the same, regardless of independent speed. That is to say that you would be traveling the same speed as the light particle and wave form. However, it also dictates that the laws of physics are the same for all objects in uniform motion, as in ... you could not accelerate anything beyond the speed of light, as that is finite. Ergo, the headlights would not illuminate the "road" ahead, because that would mean the particles would have to exceed the speed of light, and that is impossible according to Einstein's theory.

Can God create a rock he can't lift?

If God is infallible and omnipotent, then no. It is infinitely impossible for him to create something he cannot lift, because he is omnipotent.

Why does this one girl get really mad at me when I tell people I don't have a girlfriend?

Because she thinks she is your girlfriend.

If I leave work north of town at 6pm, traveling south at 65mph and the said girl above leaves her work at 5:30pm, traveling north at 60mph, should she have my dinner ready by the time I get home?

That would depend on the time in travel, which is relative to distance and traffic conditions.

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?

Because they are individual units in a major building.

 

[shipwreck]

18 23 7 56 4

You are 1 short, and 56 is too high... Guess I stumped ya finally :P

 

[kyletxria1911a1]

Col. Mustard, in the Library, with the Wrench.

ha ha ha ah baby you are the master. i called for you today but you were off. I want to bring
you everything and maybe shoot some

 

[kyletxria1911a1]

oh btw
tim curry was the bomb

 

[Texas1911]

You are 1 short, and 56 is too high... Guess I stumped ya finally :P

I don't play the lottery. I'd get a bigger return setting my money on fire.

 

[Texas1911]

ha ha ha ah baby you are the master. i called for you today but you were off. I want to bring
you everything and maybe shoot some

Travis is up there ... give him a call. (Travis = Sig_Fiend)

 

[goodfellas]

XDm or GLOCK?
AK or AR?
Mauser or Enfield?
Beans or No Beans?
Earmuffs or Earplugs?

 

[MR Redneck]

I got this one!!!
Dogs do have tast buds, but not to the refined standard of people.
Dogs tast in the form of More and Less!! Poop having more tast, dirt having less..
All dogs enjoy table scraps! Not that they care what food tast like, their just greedy. If your eating something, they'll act like they want some of but really they want to eat it all and leave you with nothing!!
Greedy, greedy, greedy.
When food is conserned the only thing people and dogs have in common is the sence of smell. I learned all this form my dog. I finished smoking some briskits one night and put them in the refridgerator till the next day. I got back to the shop the next morning and realized somebody learned how to open my refridgerator!!! The greedy devil didnt leave me nothin!!

 

[Texas1911]

XDm or GLOCK?
AK or AR?
Mauser or Enfield?
Beans or No Beans?
Earmuffs or Earplugs?

Glock
AR
Mauser
Beans
Both

 

[Texas1911]

do dogs have taste buds, and if so do they actually enjoy the table scraps..?

Yes, eating is central to every animals reward center, even human animals, and is a large source of dopamine.

 

[Texas1911]

If your eating something, they'll act like they want some of but really they want to eat it all and leave you with nothing!!
Greedy, greedy, greedy.

That's because dogs are scavenger animals, and are wired to eat anything and everything they can. Humans are the same way, that is why we have fat storage and get reward mentally via dopamine for eating. We just have more self-control than most animals because our prey drive is suppressed.

 

[Wolfwood]

We just have more self-control than most animals....

speak for yourself!

 

[suhsjake]

Why doesn't Toyota sell a Diesel Tundra in the US like they do with Hilux in the rest of the world? Why in the world does my GMC truck need so much maintenance all the time?