Official Aggie Joke Thread

[deemus]

I grew up hearing Aggie jokes. The best ones were told to me by actual Aggies. So to pay homage to our resident Aggies, and to distract our TGT Aggies from the ass kickings which are about to start in SEC land, I offer this thread.

So share your Aggie jokes with the class. I'll get it started...

Did you hear about the Aggies who ran their pickup off the road and into a river? The ones in the cab managed to escape and swim to the shore, but the two in the back drowned when they couldn't get the tailgate open.

 

[Acesn8's]

I think it's a shame the way everyone picks on Aggies. After all it was an Aggie engineer that invented the toilet seat.
Of course a UT engineer stole the design and cut a hole in the middle ...

 

[jcrntx]

Talk about bad timing. With the new semester starting up, the Aggies had to cancel their driver's education and sex education classes because their mule died.

 

[matefrio]

Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus?




He burned his lip on the tailpipe.

 

[txpate]

As a matter of fact there is only 1 Aggie joke...


All the others are true stories!

Hook'em Horns! '71

 

[Mexican_Hippie]

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]An Aggie went hunting and shot two deer. When he went to the taxidermist,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]he was asked if he wanted them mounted.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]
"No," the Aggie replied, "kissing will be fine."[/FONT]

 

[bob barker]

The joke is when they go 2-10 for the year. **** A&M.

Wreckem

 

[jfrey]

You have to be a real Aggie to truely appreciate the jokes. Football isn't the only activity on campus. The Aggies just need to do what the tea-sips did and buy a new team.

 

[Mexican_Hippie]

The joke is when they go 2-10 for the year. **** A&M.

Wreckem

Ha ha Bob....oso. (That's misspelled Spanish for some of you uneducated types).

You can always tell the Tech folks through their inadequacy. Didn't even post a joke - too worried his penis was too small. Don't worry, mama loves you even if you didn't go to a real school.

 

[deemus]

Ha ha Bob....oso. (That's misspelled Spanish for some of you uneducated types).

You can always tell the Tech folks through their inadequacy. Didn't even post a joke - too worried his penis was too small. Don't worry, mama loves you even if you didn't go to a real school.

Thought you were trying to refer to some other school with that "Oso" comment...

 

[Mexican_Hippie]

I'm cool w/ Baylor

 

[deemus]

Recently in London two groups of women got on a double-decker bus. Some Baylor wives got on the lower level and some Aggy wives (including Mrs. Tannehill) took the top level.

When the bus began moving the Aggy wives began hollering, and as speed increased Aggy began screaming:

Baylor: Please be quiet up there. Try to enjoy the views.


Aggy: That's easy for you to say...You've got a driver!

 

[Mexican_Hippie]

An Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Baylor Bear are lined up to be shot.

The Longhorn is up first. The execution squad goes "Ready, Aim..." and the Longhorn yells "Earthquake!" In the confusion he gets away.
The Baylor Bear is up second. The execution squad goes "Ready, Aim..." and the Baylor Bear yells "Tornado!" In the confusion he gets away.
The Aggie is up last. The execution squad goes "Ready, Aim..." and the Aggie yells "Fire!"

 

[deemus]

An Aggie, Longhorn and Baylor Bear are sentenced to die in the electric chair.

The Longhorn is strapped in first. They throw the switch, and nothing happens. The warden says ";This is a sign. If your life has potential, you can be spared."; The Longhorn replies ";I am a biology major at UT. I intend to go to work at MD Anderson and find a cure for cancer."; The warden says ";You're free to go."

Next up is the Bear. He's strapped in, they throw the switch, and nothing happens. The warden says "This is a sign. If your life has potential, you can be spared."; The Bear replies ";I am a religion major at Baylor. I intend to go to become a missionary and cure hunger in Africa."; The warden says ";You're free to go."

Next up is the Aggie. He's strapped in, they throw the switch, and nothing happens. Before the warden can say anything, the Aggie says ";I'm an electrical engineering major at A&M. You need to reverse those red and blue wires over there or you'll never get a current going through this thing."

 

[coachrick]

I reckon a Gamecock who lives in Austin can chime in...
Young fellow wearing an orange UT hat in the men's dept at the clothing store is asked by the clerk if he needs help. Young man replies, "I need seven pairs of underwear, please". Clerk asks "Why seven?". Young man replies, "I can only do laundry on trips back home. So...Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc." Clerk agrees that the plan makes perfect sense. A little while later, a young fellow with the A&M logo on his shirt is in the same dept. looking for underwear. Clerk says, "Size medium, fine...how many pairs?" Young Aggie says. "I'll need twelve, please." To which the clerk asks, "Why would you need twelve pairs of underwear?" . Young Aggie replies, " Well...January, February, March...".

Bazinga!

 

[grasshopperglock]

Two of my favorites...

Did you hear about the Aggie kamikaze pilot?

The dumbass flew 22 missions

Why dont Aggies call 911?

They can't find the "11" on the dial

 

[Acesn8's]

How many Aggies does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Three, one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

 

[Taurus]

An Aggie just graduated and to celebrate he gonna get a nice big juicy hamburger. He went in and approached the counter and placed his order.

The clerk looked at him and said, "You're from A&M aren't you?"

The Aggie said, "Yep, and I just graduated."

The clerk said, "Well, you need to go back because this is a hardware store."

 

[deemus]

Thought I would share a nice gesture by the Ags. I had not heard of this before.

http://m.aggieathletics.com/all/article/205276289

 

[Army 1911]

God invented armadillos so Aggies could have possum on the half shell.