Dementia seems to be caused by factors in modern life

[General Zod]

<>

We Elders fear all institutions, b/c they hare the tendency to strip away all rights and restrain people unnecessarily. As an ex-Family Doc, I saw this repeatedly in “nursing homes” which operated more like minimum security prisons.

There is no reason to restrain folks just because they are aged and weaker.

leVieux

<>

And nobody is suggesting any such thing should be done to anyone who is still in control of his or her faculties. We're talking about dementia patients and their ability to hide their condition from people they're not in daily contact with. Please try to follow along.

 

[glenbo]

<>

I warn that home care of one with increasing dementia is a very, very difficult situation.

Please consider an institution. The “assisted care” facilities are nicer & less restrictive.

Good Luck !

<>

Those institutions are prohibitively expensive for most middle class or lower income folks. Medicare covers little, ChampVA and TriCare don't cover much at all for veterans or dependents. If someone doesn't have the ability to buy long-term care insurance beforehand, they're screwed by the costs. You've had a great income most of your working life and, hopefully, great insurance.. Many of us don't have anywhere near that kind of resource to lean on.

 

[benenglish]

If someone doesn't have the ability to buy long-term care insurance beforehand, they're screwed by the costs.

There's history in my family and I've seen really bad situations, so even though it's expensive AF I bit the bullet and bought the long term care insurance my employer offered as soon as it was available. The benefits are good enough that they were too good and after a few years, the span of coverage was greatly reduced for new buyers. As a buyer of the original product, I was given a choice to keep full benefits if I just paid more. A lot more.

I did.

It's financially tough right now but, given that I will face the end of my days without family, I figure it's about the best I can do.

 

[Southpaw]

I like donuts.

They definitely taste better than turtles.

 

[leVieux]

Those institutions are prohibitively expensive for most middle class or lower income folks. Medicare covers little, ChampVA and TriCare don't cover much at all for veterans or dependents. If someone doesn't have the ability to buy long-term care insurance beforehand, they're screwed by the costs. You've had a great income most of your working life and, hopefully, great insurance.. Many of us don't have anywhere near that kind of resource to lean on.

<>

Yes, everything is expensive; and, 24/7/365 care & supervision is very expensive.

An Eldercare Attorney, Geriatric Physician, or social agencies may be able to guide you.

Please don’t wait until there is a crisis to learn about what is available.

Your Family is not the only one with this problem.

<>

 

[General Zod]

An Eldercare Attorney, Geriatric Physician, or social agencies may be able to guide you.

Doesn't matter who "guides you" if it's prohibitively expensive. And your first solution...is to shell out for an attorney to help with it.

Jesus Christ, can you have missed the point by a wider margin?

"Elder care" is a pipe dream for most families in this day and age. The costs are astronomical and the facilities are often hell on earth...and very few insurance plans cover more than a token amount if anything. And giving an attorney thousands of dollars to tell you it's not doable for your family doesn't fix anything.

 

[popper]

Elder care is very expensive. Even rehab care is very costly. Have friends who have Alzheimer's, wife does the care at home but it's difficult. Another has Parkinson's, same there. Mom was in mental care before she passed (@ 99), NOT cheap.
But in Austin - https://www.texastribune.org/2024/02/26/texas-travis-county-jail-mental-health/ they spend M$s on winos and druggies.

 

[leVieux]

There's history in my family and I've seen really bad situations, so even though it's expensive AF I bit the bullet and bought the long term care insurance my employer offered as soon as it was available. The benefits are good enough that they were too good and after a few years, the span of coverage was greatly reduced for new buyers. As a buyer of the original product, I was given a choice to keep full benefits if I just paid more. A lot more.

I did.

It's financially tough right now but, given that I will face the end of my days without family, I figure it's about the best I can do.

<>

I do too, got mine via TMA decades back & have paid about $350/month for over 25 years.

And, everyone should understand that, in general, dementias are a condition of the aged. People are living longer than ever now, so we see more dementia. This doesn’t mean an increased incidence.

leVieux

<>

 

[glenbo]

For those in the Houston area, this man was recommended to me by a social worker at MD Anderson Cancer Center just in case my wife needs this, and it's looking more and more that she will. His primary focus is on memory care but he may be of assistance. The website is worth a look. The social worker highly recommended him.

Syed Rizvi, MBA, CSA, CDP, DLC
Senex Memory Advisors
8300 Cypress Creek Parkway, Suite 450, Houston, TX, 77070
Cell: 281-687-0612 || Tel: 832-821-5161 || Fax: 346-215-1001
Email: syed@senexmemory.com || Web: www.senexmemory.com

 

[General Zod]

There's history in my family and I've seen really bad situations, so even though it's expensive AF I bit the bullet and bought the long term care insurance my employer offered as soon as it was available. The benefits are good enough that they were too good and after a few years, the span of coverage was greatly reduced for new buyers. As a buyer of the original product, I was given a choice to keep full benefits if I just paid more. A lot more.

I did.

It's financially tough right now but, given that I will face the end of my days without family, I figure it's about the best I can do.

I've never had an employer that offers anything of the sort that I'm aware of. Medical, vision, dental and life are the only insurance policies I've ever been offered or not been offered by an employer.

 

[Wudidiz]

I can't afford long term health insurance. If I outlive my wife, I plan to commit a major crime that I find politically satisfying. Then, turn myself in and plead guilty. Let the government feed and house my happy ass till I croak.

 

[contender buff]

 

[leVieux]

View attachment 437651

<>

We resemble. . . . . . .

<>

 

[TipBledsoe]

Father-in-law has dementia and lives alone, still drives. Wife's brothers are just going to let it go until it's an issue...I think it's time to have him move in with us, but I don't get to decide this one. It's frustrating, to say the least. He's always been a class act and I would like to help the guy. Sometimes he is perfectly fine; other days he will repeat same story over and over. He gets in car, forgets where he is headed. Shitty situation.

There's nothing you'll do that's harder than dealing with a family member with dementia. It's beyond shitty. Your wife will need all of your support, and you'll be dealing with the FIL being less and less the man you knew as every day goes by.

IKNOW THAT WHEN MY FATHER HAD TO MAKE MY GRANDMOTHER STOP DRIVING SHE HATED HAVING TO DEPEND ON OTHERS TO GET TO PLACES SHE WANTED GO! BUT SHE HAD THREE BAD ACCIDENTS IN SIX MONTHS AND PUT ONE GUY IN THE HOSITAL SHE WAS A DANGER TO HERSELF AND OTHERS IT WAS SAD BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE!

I've had too much experience with this. It is most definitely very hard to deal with. And I expect Alzheimer's will eventually claim my life too.

Had to move my parents in with us. They have both since passed away. My mother refused to take the Alzheimer's meds which turned out to be a blessing because it allowed her worst condition period to deteriorate relatively quickly.

Later moved the in-laws in with us. FIL has since passed away. It's about time to take away MIL driving privileges, etc.

As @Axxe55 has pointed out, those such as @Lead Belly dealing with such family members have a responsibility to make the hard decision and difficult task of preventing injury to others by taking away the driving privileges, disallowing kitchen privileges, etc.

 

[Axxe55]

I've had too much experience with this. It is most definitely very hard to deal with. And I expect Alzheimer's will eventually claim my life too.

Had to move my parents in with us. They have both since passed away. My mother refused to take the Alzheimer's meds which turned out to be a blessing because it allowed her worst condition period to deteriorate relatively quickly.

Later moved the in-laws in with us. FIL has since passed away. It's about time to take away MIL driving privileges, etc.

As @Axxe55 has pointed out, those such as @Lead Belly dealing with such family members have a responsibility to make the hard decision and difficult task of preventing injury to others by taking away the driving privileges, disallowing kitchen privileges, etc.

SOMETIMES MOVNG AN ELDERLY RELATIVE INTO YOUR HOMEISN'T THE ANSWER BECAUASE MOST OF US LACK THE SKILLS TO TAKE CARE OF AND NOT ALL NURSING HOMES WIL TAKEON SOMEONE WITH ALZHIEMER'S OR DEMNTIA OUR FAMILY FOUBD THIS OUT

 

[Lonesome Dove]

My Mom passed while in an assisted living home.

Worse thing for the family ever we couldn't get there in time to say goodbye.

 

[General Zod]

SOMETIMES MOVNG AN ELDERLY RELATIVE INTO YOUR HOMEISN'T THE ANSWER BECAUASE MOST OF US LACK THE SKILLS TO TAKE CARE OF AND NOT ALL NURSING HOMES WIL TAKEON SOMEONE WITH ALZHIEMER'S OR DEMNTIA OUR FAMILY FOUBD THIS OUT

I doubt that anyone's ever really prepared for taking care of a loved one whose mind is betraying them and robbing them of their memories and even their personality. No matter how much you think you've researched and steeled yourself, the reality is so much worse when someone you've known all your life thinks you're a stranger...and becomes a stranger to you. And those lucid periods they have are both a godsend and pure torture when they become fewer and further between.

 

[TipBledsoe]

SOMETIMES MOVNG AN ELDERLY RELATIVE INTO YOUR HOMEISN'T THE ANSWER BECAUASE MOST OF US LACK THE SKILLS TO TAKE CARE OF AND NOT ALL NURSING HOMES WIL TAKEON SOMEONE WITH ALZHIEMER'S OR DEMNTIA OUR FAMILY FOUBD THIS OUT

You are most certainly correct. And there are resources to help out.

Except for her last 3 days in a nursing home, was able to spend the last 3 months of my mother’s life living with us, with the help of hospice in-home care - they are truly angels living among us!

My father had a stroke, spending the last week of his life in hospital with machines keeping him alive until I had to enforce his living will to have the machines removed - quite a gut-wrenching experience.

I found my FIL one morning in his recliner, had passed sometime overnight in his sleep. He had Parkinson’s but seemed to have quite a peaceful passing.

 

[alternative]

Dad had bad Parkinson's, lived in California, asked me to send him "something" which I couldn't do as it would have meant jail for me. He said, "I am checking into a VA hospital and will be gone in no time". He was right. Life is not forever, we treat our pets more humanely than our humans sometimes. I don't want to be here without my mind. The only thing to consider is if your mind is gone will you know to end it.

 

[Mowingmaniac 24/7]

This is a most saddening thread.

If diagnosed with early dementia i.e., I'm still fairly lucid, am I the only one here who'd consider euthanasia...and no, not blasting my brains out...too much chance of not adequately finishing he job.

Another dreadful scenario, that is, you're diagnosed with an incurable, hideously painful cancer, you'll suffer for a long time before the relief of death sets you free.

From what I've read and see on cop shows, Fentanyl is a painless way to go.

Oh, am I also a horrible person for such a consideration?

Maybe, but not being religious, in my view doing such a thing is simple logic.