Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Wolfwood, Jun 3, 2011.
Never heard of someone falling asleep during that
Gardening in the nude again?
I had a testicle amputated and a piece of my ass-skin grafted onto my dick to replace a chunk that was ballistically amputated when a mopey 19 year old, angry he had to carry a SAW and a mortar baseplate (baseplate was punishment for a previous fuckup), nd’d said SAW while clearing it improperly behind me. A single round had been left in the chamber, somehow, and knicked the inside of my left thigh before hitting my scrotum and the tip of my dick before finding its final resting place in our squad’s tv, ruining a game of black ops zombies and nearly killing another mopey 19 year old. I did not get a Purple Heart but I did get to do a bunch of ketamine, which was nice. Not so nice is that I couldn’t get a boner for three years and spent my entire second deployment unable to Jack off.
My family and friends think I don’t tell war stories because I saw some awful shit and it changed me. Aside from the morons I loved the army though, loved afghanistan and living in a shitty plywood and dirt bunker and shitting in a 55 gallon drum. It’s like camping but every now and then you get to drop a mortar on some fool who doesn’t know how to read. I don’t tell war stories because I feel like people won’t understand how I can find things like this so funny, and think I’m a freak.
Thanks for letting me share.
Hit the snooze. I think you need a few more hours sleep there bud.
There's a homeless guy who wears a trenchcoat and carries around part of a shovel handle kind of like a staff. Some college kid decided to buy him a wizard hat because he sort of looks like Gandalf in his get up, and he told him he'll give him a dollar every time he sees him wearing the wizard hat. He's now dubbed hobo-gandalf and everyone knows him from cops to medics to ER staff and especially the mental health facility. He's completely batshit insane. The first time I met him he was screaming on his phone on a street corner sitting on his staff that was half in the ground and half pressing on his b-hole. I checked on him to see why he was yelling and he got startled and fell off the staff, he then promptly jumped up and yelled "YOU MADE ME SHIT MY PANTS *******" The shovel handle was apparently keeping his diarrhea in his bunghole. He then proceeded to yell on his phone to his "lawyer" that a cop just made him shit his pants and how he needed me sued ASAP. Now every time he sees me he yells at me and tells me I was fired on April the 17th for making him shit his pants and that he's going to collect all the pay for this time that I've been working for free. I'm kind of skeptical but idk how good his lawyer really is, I mean I did make him shit his pants.
No more vodak for him either