Meat Gazers

[Bozz10mm]

Guys had been bringing donor piss to pass the test so the company added 2 pre-screening tests in an effort to knock them out before paying for the real test and physical.


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What? No meat gazers?

 

[TxStetson]

The company I’m with now uses hair follicle testing for pre-hires and then random urinalysis for current employees. And it’s observed testing so the urine bag won’t work.

 

[majormadmax]

Still susceptible, but haven't been tagged to "donate" for years...

However, during my last year in uniform, I arrived at work welcomed by the notice that I had to go do a piss test. No biggie, wasn't worried about anything other than I had drained my bladder before leaving for the office. I grab a large Gatorade and down it as I go over to the prescribed location; but once I got there I was informed I wasn't on their list therefore they didn't want my "donation." At that point I told them they were getting it whether they wanted it or not! Luckily, the NCO understood my situation and allowed me to drain my now-full-again bladder. And no, he didn't watch...

 

[toddnjoyce]

Still susceptible, but haven't been tagged to "donate" for years...

However, during my last year in uniform, I arrived at work welcomed by the notice that I had to go do a piss test. No biggie, wasn't worried about anything other than I had drained my bladder before leaving for the office. I grab a large Gatorade and down it as I go over to the prescribed location; but once I got there I was informed I wasn't on their list therefore they didn't want my "donation." At that point I told them they were getting it whether they wanted it or not! Luckily, the NCO understood my situation and allowed me to drain my now-full-again bladder. And no, he didn't watch...

I got hit six times, back to back once. After the fact, I was the told the first repeat was to confirm a positive by someone in the pool. Then, more were picked up in the successive rounds. Apparently, if you were in the pool with someone who has a hot sample, you got to play again to ensure the integrity of the pool.

 

[Big Green]

I got hit six times, back to back once. After the fact, I was the told the first repeat was to confirm a positive by someone in the pool. Then, more were picked up in the successive rounds. Apparently, if you were in the pool with someone who has a hot sample, you got to play again to ensure the integrity of the pool.

That would explain a lot. My last couple of years on active it seems like I was always randomly picked.

 

[avvidclif]

Never heard of "meat gazers". We had pecker checkers but they were clap wizards.

 

[Coiled]

How'bout them cowboys???

I didn't know they were meat gazers. Have you posted that on FB for their fans?

 

[Charlie]

I got hit six times, back to back once. After the fact, I was the told the first repeat was to confirm a positive by someone in the pool. Then, more were picked up in the successive rounds. Apparently, if you were in the pool with someone who has a hot sample, you got to play again to ensure the integrity of the pool.

I wouldn't get in the pool with a bunch of people takin' the pee test!

 

[majormadmax]

Back when I was stationed in Idaho (mid-80s), my entire section was notified of a no-notice piss test (no one had studied!).

I wasn't a coffee drinker, so I consumed several bottles of water to prep.

A buddy of mine downed a couple of quick cups of coffee.

Our "donations" couldn't be any further apart in color...

 

[Mowingmaniac 24/7]

Long ago, in a land far away, I was in the U. S. Army as a grunt.

At that time mandatory drug tests were only in the future......

 

[dsgrey]

The last place I worked tested quarterly. Employees were selected randomly supposedly. There were 35 or 40 of us and they picked 3 or 4 each quarter for testing. I was selected 3 quarters in a row. What are the odds.

Worked at a very large corporate in the 80's and they decided to implement drug testing. Oddly enough, many managers left before it started. They wrote a program that would supposedly test the entire population at random over 4 years. Before the first year was up, we had cost reductions so they tweaked the program to select fewer people without researching the impact. We had employee numbers so the old timers had a lower number than new hires. By year 3 HR was getting complaints from the old timers they were being tested frequently throughout the year and had never seen a new hire get called in. Well the code was written so poorly that when they changed the number allowed for piss testing it was only selecting lower employee numbers. They cancelled the program.

 

[TheMailMan]

If they had been piss testing when I was in the Corps we would have lost half the company.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

If they had been piss testing when I was in the Corps we would have lost half the company.

Your aim that bad?

 

[Coiled]

How'bout them cowboys???

I didn't know they were meat gazers. Have you posted that on FB for their fans?

Apparently I was the only one behind the times and didn't get your joke.

I'm current on Cowboy shicannery now, carry on . . .

 

[TheMailMan]

Your aim that bad?

Nope. Late 70's, before drug testing, Jimmy was President. It wasn't the militaries finest hour. At least our officers could enter the barracks without being armed.

 

[JLMcC]

Hilarious! Even the Navy had meat gazers!

Nothing like old memories and blasts from past! Amazing the stuff that we remember that civilians would have no idea of what we were talking about.

Don’t remember how many times I got stuck being an observer.

I was both Navy and (later) Air Force. Got volunteered as an observer in both services. It is my supposition that all services have "meat gazers." Some are sanctioned and others are stealthy.

 

[Bobk]

A guy at work told me now that they can screen urine for alcohol consumption. Thank god that drinking wasn’t that big of deal when I was in. Don’t remember how many times I went for a run while still lit.

 

[ZX9RCAM]

We always took a breathalyzer test when drug tested anyway.

 

[Old_Sarge]

So we were having a discussion the other day at work among some old army vets about the army urinalysis program and meat gazers.

So out of curiosity how many of you were trained to be meat gazers or want to admit to it?

Figure with all the serious B.S going on how about a little humor!

I was the Drug and Alcohol NCO in most units, so I was in charge of the program, and as the administrator of the test, I was prohibited from being a meat gazer...whew...

 

[Fishkiller]

I wouldn't get in the pool with a bunch of people takin' the pee test!

Or gazing at my meat.