Life Kicked Me in the Nads

Axxe55

Professional Troublemaker
Dec 15, 2019
7,080
113
Deep East Texas.
I grieved for six months, blaming myself and oh how I could've been a better husband, feelings of guilt, etc.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of her evil/deceitful ways...I stopped grieving almost immediately.
When a buddy of mine pointed that out to me, my grief turned to anger and hate! That worked wonders.
 

Texasjack

TGT Addict
TGT Supporter
Jan 3, 2010
3,998
113
Occupied Texas
Reminds me of a guy I worked with years ago. His brother worked offshore. He came home late one night and his key didn't work in the front door. He knocked and a stranger answered the door. They both did that, "Who the hell are you?" thing and eventually figured out that his wife forged his signature, sold the house, cleaned out his bank accounts and left. The new home owner was extremely upset, as it was likely that he was going to get evicted and lose everything. The brother thought about the situation for a few minutes and then told the new owner not to worry, that he wasn't going to contest the sale. "If it costs me the house in order to get rid of her, that's OK." He stayed with his brother (the guy I worked with) for a while until he got back on his feet.

Point is, even though it may be painful, it's eventually going to happen anyway, so might as well get it over with and move on. Some people just suck.
 

skfullen

In the woods...
TGT Supporter
Oct 14, 2017
1,838
113
La Porte and Angelina County
I'm convinced now she has a dark heart, devoid of soul.
I saw her treat others badly. I just never thought it would be me. Basically, she SAID out loud the things we all think but do not SAY due to civility. I walked away many a time in grocery stores and other places because I was embarrassed at her behavior. Still, I loved her. I guess for some stupid reason I thought I was going to redeem her. Around animals she had a heart of gold, and in that I saw a redeeming value.
It's been 4 months now and I have not heard a word. I have attempted no contact for the last 8 weeks.
I realize now that I did everything in the relationship - cook (daily), clean, mow, make repairs, drive (including getting out of the truck to open the gate, and then get out again to close it behind us), so that she could yak and text on the phone the entire time - while ignoring me and acting like I was rude if I interrupted to point something out along the road.

When I was generous in helping others, either financially or otherwise, she criticized me for being naive and claimed I let others take advantage of me.
I always went to Church by myself - which she said she would do once we got married.

The good news is that we never mingled our finances or properties.
She was as financially stable as I am.

Thanks, Dr Phil, for listening. it isn't like I can talk to my friends or family about this. I don't want to be one of those guys that everybody hates to see because they know it's going to be another "woe is me" moment!

I'm moving on. I have a female friend I've known for 25 years (at work, never married) who is interested in pursuing a relationship. So far, I have avoided the issue. She is a big girl and I'm not physically attracted. I know that familiarity and spending time together can change that. She is a beautiful person and has all of the positive qualities that my ex was lacking.

Who says you have to listen to the soap operas to get a good story?
 
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MTA89

CEO of Systemic Racism INC.
TGT Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
3,957
113
Texoma
Just my two cents but be careful with big girls. Ive never met a fat woman* who wasnt a lazy slob (aside from folks getting heavier as they age). Just be wary of ending up doing all of this again : "cook (daily), clean, mow, make repairs, drive (including getting out of the truck to open the gate, and then get out again to close it behind us) " with a new woman that is bringing the same old crap to the table.
 
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baboon

TGT Addict
May 6, 2008
10,547
113
In a dumpy house on an expensive lot
Years back on some stupid talk show about divorce they said no matter how much a guy looses in a divorce in a couple of years he's back in good standing & the women is a train wreck financially.

One of my best friends went thru a divorce a few years back. He worked off shore & made the big money. She bitched about him not being home, so he started doing AC work. Again never home. When he started doing lesser jobs she bitched about money. He once said she blew thru $450K in 3 years, with no accounting for it! He has one daughter still to pay support on. He said he can't wait until those checks stop. Not because of his kid but rather to she his ex being won't have it to blow!
 

Axxe55

Professional Troublemaker
Dec 15, 2019
7,080
113
Deep East Texas.
Years back on some stupid talk show about divorce they said no matter how much a guy looses in a divorce in a couple of years he's back in good standing & the women is a train wreck financially.

One of my best friends went thru a divorce a few years back. He worked off shore & made the big money. She bitched about him not being home, so he started doing AC work. Again never home. When he started doing lesser jobs she bitched about money. He once said she blew thru $450K in 3 years, with no accounting for it! He has one daughter still to pay support on. He said he can't wait until those checks stop. Not because of his kid but rather to she his ex being won't have it to blow!
Just shows that some talk show hosts or programs are idiots!

My first ex-wife got pretty much most of our assets and possessions in the divorce. I didn't really care, because I just wanted out of that marriage. It was purely toxic.

And within a few years, yep, she was a financial train wreck. Because of her own behavior towards money and finances. Lets see if I can put this into perspective that y'all might understand. She was an alcoholic. Last I heard, she's on her fifth DUI now. Two in Texas and three in Georgia I believe. She has a serious gambling problem. Which cost me dearly, and I seriously doubt she has gotten better with her problem. She has a problem with being faithful as well. She cheated on me numerous times. Last I heard, she's on husband #7, and I was husband #2! Truth be known, and looking back in hindsight, my first ex-wife was a train wreck ling before I met her!

Ex-wife #2 did alright. She did marry up. After that divorce, I hit some hard times financially, but that wasn't any fault of hers. It was just the times we were going through, and many others were getting hit hard as well. We recovered though.
 

Dougw1515

Well-Known
Jul 14, 2020
1,356
113
USA
My unsolicited advise. Get reeeeealllllyyyy comfortable at being alone. Become you own best friend. Treat yourself to - whatever. Once you can do that, on an extended basis, you "might" be ready for another relationship. Fools rush in....
 

Dougw1515

Well-Known
Jul 14, 2020
1,356
113
USA
I used to live in Gainsville, GA - worked in Atlanta. After I got my divorce I was still working for BellSouth. One day driving home on GA-400 I saw a truck with all kinna hand scrolled notes on it. I will never forget what was inscribed on the back glass:

"MY NEXT WIFE WILL BE NORMAL!"

Oh... he had so much to learn. First off "His last wife was normal!"
 
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