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  • Sasquatch

    TGT Addict
    Rating - 100%
    3   0   0
    Apr 20, 2020
    6,590
    96
    Magnolia
    It beats peeing 4 times a night.

    And they knock you out so you don’t know what happened. But after a couple days you get to pee like regular 20 year old guy.

    So you're saying you get to pee like a race horse with a strong, mountain-river like stream, instead of a sad dribble?
     

    kyletxria1911a1

    TGT Addict
    Emeritus - "Texas Proud"
    Rating - 100%
    2   0   0
    May 22, 2010
    22,036
    96
    kyletx
    Thanks, Deemus. I let them do a biopsy on my prostate once. They made me put on some paper underwear with a back flap, laid me down on a steel table on my side and the rest is speculation because I was scared shitless and was a whimpering shell of my usual self-confident and courageous self after I saw the size of the needle they were going to shove up my keester to make the procedure "pain-free". Never mind the "pain-free" part... the frigging indignity...my first time other than some hairy-knuckled Navy CWO4 PA giving me a finger wave...by this time my eyes were slammed shut as tight as my sphincter and I think it was then that they sent in the dwarf with the video cam strapped to his shoulder and an ice cream scoop in his hand to take 12 samples of that precious gland. I was doing the countdown, enumerating every ka-Chunk and when I got to "11" I cried "1 more and we're done, right?" "Nah", said the doctor, "we got 3 more left". I shivered and wailed. The doc and the Corpsman chuckled and said, "Just kidding, we're almost done". Ka-CHUNK.

    It gets worse. My second colonoscopy. My doctor was Syrian. Nice guy. His assistant was some professional looking Black man. He was handling that black hose they shove up your bum, getting it ready. I was nervous so I tried to break the tension by some flippant remark like, "Enjoy your work?". Leaping Gebbus, me and my mouth. The Black guy grinned, started stroking the hose and said, "You got no idea...you'll be knocked out soon..." Then I slipped into unconsciousness and woke up sore later.

    I'm gonna pass on the lasers, Deemus. But still, thanks.

    (The biopsy turned out negative. That was a happy day.)
    I thought I was bad but you win
     

    baboon

    TGT Addict
    Rating - 100%
    4   0   0
    May 6, 2008
    22,464
    96
    Out here by the lake!
    35 years ago today the wife & I got married. Talk about strange similarities. 2 weeks before we got married I was the one with stomach problems. My mom was dying, I was getting married & work was fucking with my stressed out ass.

    I had to go for an upper & lower GI because of all my weight loss. Back at my arpartment while I was sleeping off the Demerol. The soon to be wife informed me that her mom & her changed our wedding plans. I was holding an 8" work knife doing dish when she told me the news. Blame it on me & the dope combined I buried the knife in the counter top. My hand slipped from the handle & onto the blade. I drove myself to the hospital because like I told the the soon to be wife I'll be there a few days. 8 hours of micro surgery later with a funky cast like deal wrapped up in a ace bandage I woke up in a room.

    I told the wife earlier as much as he mom has been bugging my phone for updates, if she does not call to wish us a happy anniversary I'll probably block heir phone number.
     

    kyletxria1911a1

    TGT Addict
    Emeritus - "Texas Proud"
    Rating - 100%
    2   0   0
    May 22, 2010
    22,036
    96
    kyletx
    35 years ago today the wife & I got married. Talk about strange similarities. 2 weeks before we got married I was the one with stomach problems. My mom was dying, I was getting married & work was fucking with my stressed out ass.

    I had to go for an upper & lower GI because of all my weight loss. Back at my arpartment while I was sleeping off the Demerol. The soon to be wife informed me that her mom & her changed our wedding plans. I was holding an 8" work knife doing dish when she told me the news. Blame it on me & the dope combined I buried the knife in the counter top. My hand slipped from the handle & onto the blade. I drove myself to the hospital because like I told the the soon to be wife I'll be there a few days. 8 hours of micro surgery later with a funky cast like deal wrapped up in a ace bandage I woke up in a room.

    I told the wife earlier as much as he mom has been bugging my phone for updates, if she does not call to wish us a happy anniversary I'll probably block heir phone number.
    Yo vato you know I'm in your corner if you're in need call me brother
     

    baboon

    TGT Addict
    Rating - 100%
    4   0   0
    May 6, 2008
    22,464
    96
    Out here by the lake!
    Yo vato you know I'm in your corner if you're in need call me brother
    I think this whole thread got started over me cleaning up puke & a very nasty toilet with no sleep the night before. Yesterday while running errands I forgot to pick up an RX for her. Ran in & did it early this morning.

    I told her I make her breakfast when I got back. When I got home she was asleep so I let that be, until she wanted breakfast. She didn't want what I was planning so I fed her & started drinking bloody mary's. I need to prep a pork butt for the smoker & make my asian wet rub. Perhaps I take myself out to eat at the Auction Barn in Groesbeck to celebrate.
     

    HPFlashman

    Member
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 9, 2020
    112
    26
    Northwest Florida
    I like to think the shape I’m in is from years of seeing meat that few ever get to see, then bringing it home to cook

    Never trust a skinny butcher, baker or chef.
    You seem like a decent fellow and I do not want to offend you, but that post gave me a chuckle. I know what you meant, but that phrase triggered a memory of my Navy days. What came to mind was "Meat Gazing". That was something you never did in the close quarters of a ship's berthing compartment or in the head or showers. Nope. It was an unspeakable act. It was bad manners and oftentimes marked a person as qwar. Again, no offense intended. I'm just a guy with time on his hands...who had a flashback to something he never did. Been retired since '91.

    I hope life tosses you some sunshine soon. Take care.
     
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