Happy 70th Birthday

[cougartex]

Movie tough guy Chuck Norris today celebrates his 70th birthday. Can you imagine that? He is 70 years old!!!

So, to mark this momentous occasion, here are ten favorite pieces of information about the 'world's greatest human'.

1. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

2. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

3. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

4. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than death can process them.

5. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

6. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

7. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

8. A cobra once bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

9. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

10. The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bullet-proof.

 

[blacksheep]

Happy birthday Chuck.

 

[dee]

Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris.

 

[cougartex]

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.