FOOTBALL TRUTHS ...
(1) What does the average Univ. of Florida player get on his SATs?
........Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
........A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
........Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
.........Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
......There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas Longhorn football player's life?
........His freshman year.
(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
........None. That's a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. Headed in the white Bronco?
....... Durham , North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.
(10) How do you keep an FSU football player out of your front yard?
....................Erect a goal post!
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal clash).....
(11) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
(1) What does the average Univ. of Florida player get on his SATs?
........Drool.
(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
........A full set of teeth.
(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
........Grease her hips and push.
(4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
.........Pay him for the pizza.
(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
......There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
(7) What are the longest three years of a Texas Longhorn football player's life?
........His freshman year.
(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
........None. That's a sophomore course.
(9) Where was O. J. Headed in the white Bronco?
....... Durham , North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.
(10) How do you keep an FSU football player out of your front yard?
....................Erect a goal post!
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal clash).....
(11) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
