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Best Office Practical Jokes

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  • Brassguy

    Active Member
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    8   0   0
    Aug 15, 2017
    309
    26
    Wichita Falls
    In my office a couple years ago, someone tried to start a practical joke war on people, and unfortunately I was the victim of one of his practical jokes. After that he leaned that payback is a bitch when over a period of 8 years I delighted in doing the following to said individual:
    1. Listing his truck for sale for a low low price on Craig’s list. Included his phone # and the information that he worked night shift so it was easiest to reach him between the hours of 11pm and 5 am.
    2. Bought “the clapper” off of amazon, set the sensitivity level to max and plunged in his computer. Would walk by his office and accidentally drop things.
    3. Zip tied a harmonica to his undercarriage on his truck.
    4. Took the bottom off his office chair and inserted one raw shrimp, and the re assembled.
    5. Grabbed a bunch of his buisness cards, wrote “sorry I accidentally, hit your car” and would randomly leave them under people windshield wipers at Walmart.

    Anyone have any other suggestions of what I can do in the future or other previous similar stories?
    Lynx Defense
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
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    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,021
    96
    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    One that was "tried" on me years ago when I had bought a Harley, and rode it to work that night after picking it up at the dealership earlier that morning. Some of the guys poured out some waste diesel oil under the engine where it was parked. Because they used waste oil, I knew it was a prank, because the dealership had just changed the oil that morning before I picked it up. If they had used some new oil instead, it might have worked!
     

    Sasquatch

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    3   0   0
    Apr 20, 2020
    6,590
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    Magnolia
    Kind of a niche thing...

    Another lifetime ago I worked as an armed security monkey. Alarm response / patrol gig. Our bosses were bigtime wannabes - we drove marked Ford Tauruses with top-tier light bars (Code 3 MX7000s fully decked out, for warning light nerds) and siren controllers with PA and siren boxes. The bosses got in trouble with the siren thing once, so instead of uninstalling the sirens or cutting speaker wires, they removed the knob that controlled just the siren. We still had air horns & PA function. The light control box was hooked up to another switch box with a master power on, a switch for the light / siren controller, a switch for each alley light in the rear passenger windows, a switch for the radio. The switch box was wired in such a way that it only got power when the ignition was on, instead of being wired straight to the battery. You could leave the power "ON" and turn the car off, and everything was off.

    We had this new kid - a dipshit, goofy as hell 21 year old. He tried & failed to get his armed cert, but the company hired him for an alarm response position anyway. This dude carried a Mk IV pepper spray can in his pistol holster, plus another on his belt in a regular carrier. His first name was Billy, we'll leave his last name out on the account I don't remember his last name (he was gone in about 3 weeks).

    For a bit more background info - I worked out of a satellite office - our company headquarters was in Vancouver, Washington and I worked in Oregon in the Portland suburbs. Our office backed up to a big apartment complex, and our assigned parking spaces in the little office park were against the back fence. There was a 10-unit apartment building about 20 feet from our cars. We primarily worked late swing and graveyard shifts, only keeping one armed officer on day shift. This was in a hilly area, our office was in the middle of the little office complex. Not a flat spot on the damn lot. The upper driveway was a pain to get out of due to visibility, so we always went out the bottom driveway. This will play a role in the story later.

    Billy was a pain in my ass and my district partner's, so on my Friday, I knew he'd be driving my car & running my district on my weekend. I took a pair of pliars and flipped the siren control knob over to Hyper Wail, flipped the master power switch "ON", plus light / siren controller and radio switches. Not being a complete asshole, I wrote Billy a love note explaining how to turn shit off, in case he was actually retarded (he was) and even left the pliars, wrapped in the note, tucked into the driver side visor, with the fuckin handles poking out.

    So Billy comes on shift at 11PM on a Friday night, checks out his radio and car keys and heads to the parking lot to do his pre-trip, right? Jumps in the car, hits the key and all of a sudden all the lights come on, siren screaming, radio blaring (I jacked the volume to max) - Billy freaks the **** out. His dumb ass didn't check the car or anything before getting in, he just jumped in expecting to go. It didn't dawn on him to turn the Master On/OFF switch to "OFF" or turn the damn engine off. He saw the siren knob and spent *ten minutes* with his bare thumbs trying to turn the siren off.

    When he finally got on the road, he heads out of the parking lot, and when he hit the brakes at the bottom of the driveway, the pliars and note I left for him fell from the visor, hitting the dash in front of him and scaring the shit out of him - so I got him twice without intending to. Everyone in the office who found out loved it, except the supervisor who fielded the noise complaint, but he was a good guy and no one got thrown under the bus except, well, Billy.

    Billy decided to try getting me back tho - about a week later my regular car went down for maintenance (remember, I said we drove Ford Tauruses - it ate a tranny and needed a 20 mile tow to the shop for repairs) so we were assigned to drive the off-duty supervisor's new car. Billy fuckin' hid the keys to that car at the end of his shift. I get a nasty call the next day demanding to know WTF I did with the keys to the super's ride, and it took fifteen minutes going rounds and rounds on the phone to get him to realize *I* wasn't the last one to drive his car. Billy left the key on the driver front tire.

    So a few days later, Billy was covering for my district partner. I lived in the general area of my district, so I stopped in to my house for lunch. Had my wife call our dispatch with a noise complaint at one of our client properties - but had her give backwards apartment numbers - the complex in question used building letters like A, B, C, D with apartment numbers. I had her reverse those, like Building 10, apartment B for example. I listened to the traffic on the radio as our dispatcher lost her shit with Billy constantly calling in "unable to locate" - as the wife would call every five minutes asking where the hell the security guy was, the neighbors were making grunting and screaming and moaning noises keeping her up, etc. Great way to waste half an hour. Billy was super flummoxed at the end of the shift, and kept asking how he was supposed to write up his incident tickets (we had to submit activity summaries for each property at the end of every shift) - Billy was gone a few days later. He got a job with another security company a friend of mine worked for, and I found out that Billy wrecked a company car a week on the job with them and got fired.

    Another time I had a little prank war going with one of the supervisors - I took a bottle of KY and dotted his windshield and windows, and put a little on the inside of his driver door handle. Thank god he had enough of a sense of humor about it, he didn't return the favor with the old "OC in the vents" or "OC on the door handle" prank.
     

    Sasquatch

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    3   0   0
    Apr 20, 2020
    6,590
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    Magnolia
    In the lifetime after I did the security stuff, I drove a tow truck. We liked to mess with one another from time to time. Favorites included zip ties around the driveline (make a lovely wap-wap-wap noise as you drive) or adding a bunch of wheel weights to one wheel (once, the boss got in on the fun, he spray painted a bunch of weights bright pink, and put them on the inside of one of the guys's back rims - probably a good 3/4 of a pound of a lead) - dude called on his way home panicking, saying his car felt like it was 'hopping' while he was driving. We did also get the occasional harmonica zip tied to a frame member or control arm.
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
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    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,021
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    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    In one shop where I was a shop manager, I had hired a guy that was a former seargent in the Army motor pool. "Mike" was a decent mechanic, but a good leader and knew how to motivate people, and to weed out idiots. Within that corporate environment, many times I was forced to hire existing employees that were in other departments of the company that wanted to make a transfer. (My guys made close to twice to four times what the box chuckers did in the warehouse department.) So an opening that came open in the shop was very desirable for a transfer.

    "MIke" would break them in on their first day in the shop, by sending the noob on an errand to various maintenance departments in the warehouse for "filament repair kits", and then would call the various departments letting them know what was going on. A filament repair kit is a light bulb!

    He got me and one of the noobs pretty good one evening. He went to the supply room, grabbed about ten 30 gallon black trash bags and gave them to the noob, and told him to get the 12 foot stepladder, and collect "exhaust samples" from ten of our trucks in the parking lot, then take them to my office so they could be sent off for analysis. Of course he did this while I was out of the shop, and when I got back, my little small office was crowded with then large trash bags of exhaust samples!
     

    no2gates

    These are not the droids you're looking for.
    Lifetime Member
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    4   0   0
    Aug 31, 2013
    6,022
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    Grand Prairie, TX
    About 30 years ago, I worked for a company that upgraded to a THEN state-of-the-art IBM AS/400 and needed to get rid of an aging IBM System 36. We were unable to find a buyer for it and wanted to give it to an employee to take home.
    The Vice President said we couldn't do that, we had to sell it for at least 25% of what we paid for it, or we would have to keep it.
    We disassembled it, and reassembled it in his office overnight.

    He gave in the next day...
     

    Mills

    TGT Addict
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    Mar 22, 2020
    3,682
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    Texas
    Truck driver who was always playing jokes got paid back, I tied a real dead snake to the inside door handle with a length of string, when he open the door it smacked him in the face.

    Programed another wise guys phone to speed dial company president as soon as he came off hook.

    Then someone put a rainbow gay pride bumper sticker on the back bumper of a dudes personal truck, he always backed into his spot, lasted for a week before he found out.
    He was pissed, ha.

    Weld locker door shut.
     

    BigTexasOne

    Support gun control! Hit what you aim at!
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    0   0   0
    Apr 27, 2016
    1,363
    96
    Springtown
    When you're going to the convenience store or the soda fountain for a refreshing iced beverage, do this: Ask your victim if they would like to have a soda, get it for them, exactly as ordered, then, take the straw and fill it two thirds full of mustard or ketchup and put it in the cup, yuck side down. When you hand it to the victim, they won't be able to see the yuck, and then they'll take a big ol' sip of.......yuck! it's great!
     

    kbaxter60

    "Gig 'Em!"
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    0   0   0
    Jan 23, 2019
    9,905
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    Pipe Creek
    Do a search on "Annoyatron". We had coworkers almost go crazy. One was asking coworkers how long Crickets live, because he thought one was living in his desk.
     

    G O B

    School of Hard Knocks and Sharp blows
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    0   0   0
    Dec 9, 2017
    1,101
    96
    Hays Co.
    I never START a prank war. Have ENDED quite a few.
    One guy loved to screw up plug wires. He had a crew cab Chevy long bed. I pulled an axle and put the axle in the bed, and the hub cap back on. Watched him looking at the drive shaft turning but truck would not go.Finally he put his head down on the bed rail - and saw the axle!!
    Another would always find a way to screw with your desk. There were a couple of ceiling tiles missing above his cubicle. SOMEONE put an entire drum liner full of Styrofoam p-nuts up there, closed with a bow knot. the pull string went thru his book shelf, so that when he opened it, it rained p-nuts for a LONG time!
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,021
    96
    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    I never START a prank war. Have ENDED quite a few.
    One guy loved to screw up plug wires. He had a crew cab Chevy long bed. I pulled an axle and put the axle in the bed, and the hub cap back on. Watched him looking at the drive shaft turning but truck would not go.Finally he put his head down on the bed rail - and saw the axle!!
    Another would always find a way to screw with your desk. There were a couple of ceiling tiles missing above his cubicle. SOMEONE put an entire drum liner full of Styrofoam p-nuts up there, closed with a bow knot. the pull string went thru his book shelf, so that when he opened it, it rained p-nuts for a LONG time!

    Not one I did, but happened to the parts clerk in a shop I worked at. The parts clerk was a real neat freak, and one of the guys decided to fill every drawer in his desk full of packing peanuts!
     

    TipBledsoe

    TGT Addict
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    7   0   0
    Jun 28, 2020
    3,730
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    LaVernia TX
    If your kitchen sink has a faucet with separate sprayer, rubber band the sprayer lever and point the sprayer toward to front of the sink... it's a handy prank for home too, if you have a wife who can handle a practical joke
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,021
    96
    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    If your kitchen sink has a faucet with separate sprayer, rubber band the sprayer lever and point the sprayer toward to front of the sink... it's a handy prank for home too, if you have a wife who can handle a practical joke

    Or if you don't mind sleeping with one eye open all the time!
     

    gdr_11

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    Aug 1, 2014
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    Personally, I was always a fan of going by the local asian fish market and picking up a couple of large sardines, let them ripen for a few days in the sun, then wedging them in the exhaust manifold of the guy’s car. The smell will take weeks to go away.

    A milder trick is to use J-B weld to cement a steel drawer knob on a rear tire. It works best on a truck where the neck of the knob can be cemented deep in the tread. When done properly, and allowed to cure for several hours, they will play hell getting it out and only after a miserable drive home and finding the means and time to remove it
     

    TexasRedneck

    1911 Nut
    Lifetime Member
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    9   0   0
    Jan 23, 2009
    14,560
    96
    New Braunfels, TX
    Capacitor....solder leads to it, place on his seat.

    One of those "canned-air horns. Tape it under his chair, adjust it to where the seat is JUST above the release button.

    Super-glue the toilet paper

    If you have a lunch room, replace the salt with sugar in the shaker
     
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