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Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by TheMailMan, Mar 21, 2020.
Red is positive.
If you ever met my first ex wife, you'd opt for the jumper cables and generator!
Well, I might as well tell my tale, too.
My best friend in high school absolutely tore it with me when he asked me how good my sister was in bed. I'll spare you the details and language but he was absolutely shocked that anyone, anywhere didn't have sexual relations with all their siblings. That tended to explain a lot about his relationship with his older brother, btw.
Maybe I overreacted but I simply couldn't stand the sight of him after that. He went off to college and I figured I'd never see him again. That was a good thing because I really wanted to hurt him.
The next year, I was a senior and dating a gorgeous but bat-shit crazy chick who had made it clear she wanted to marry me because she thought I'd make a lot of money in my life. (I've got news for her...) I was at the county rodeo with her and trying to figure out how to break it off when I see my former best friend. I walk her over to him, introduce them, and make mention of the fact that his family has a large, prosperous ranch.
Five minutes later, she broke off our relationship and left the rodeo with him.
They were married a few months after that.
About a year later, an old mutual friend mentioned something to me about how the newlyweds were putting each other through pure hell. Somehow, that didn't bother me one bit. As far as I was concerned, they were made for each other.
Reminds me of the scene from Rambo, where they have hooked up to a old matress springs.
My first ex wife?
Short version. She was an alcoholic slut, with a bad gambling problem.
I have it on good authority that she is living in the state of Georgia. I'll never set foot in Georgia.
She gambled on you, huh....
Worst two years of life.
She could lose money faster than I could earn it.
So you're saying The Devil Went Down to Georgia?
He needs to be sentenced to hell with gasoline drawers on.
My first wife tried to shoot me. I only survived because I was able to get my thumb between the hammer and the frame of the revolver just as she pulled the trigger. She said she would rather be widowed than divorced.
She is a fine, upstanding Christian woman who knows she is perfect and stands in judgement of everyone else.
We had two sons together (now in their 30's) and I still see her occasionally at family gatherings. She always wants to hug me.
The only decent thing I can say about her is that she is not as mean as her mother.