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Advice for a brand new daddy...

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  • Southpaw

    Forum BSer
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    14   0   0
    Mar 30, 2009
    17,909
    96
    Guadalupe Co.
    Well hell!!!! I have a brand spankin' new cowgirl on her way in September and was just wonderin if any of you experienced daddy's have any advice for a greenhorn like myself. :1zhelp:
    Target Sports
     

    kurt

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    0   0   0
    Dec 8, 2009
    1,324
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    Tyler, Texas
    Don't blink. They grow up way too fast. Seems like yesterday we had her first birthday, now I'm writing checks for her sophomore year in college.
     

    Southpaw

    Forum BSer
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    14   0   0
    Mar 30, 2009
    17,909
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    Guadalupe Co.
    Don't blink. They grow up way too fast. Seems like yesterday we had her first birthday, now I'm writing checks for her sophomore year in college.

    Shoot!! I'm just trying to get past the next few years... Now you got me writing checks for college!!!

    Texas or A&M????;)
     

    Dawico

    Uncoiled
    Lifetime Member
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    15   0   0
    Oct 15, 2009
    38,104
    96
    Lampasas, Texas
    High Cap is absolutely right. You must be a parent first, and a friend second. Most people get it backwards nowadays. You can spot them because their kids are running around like banshees, yelling and screaming, and breaking stuff. Also, eat dinner as a family at the table. This tradition is dying, and society is suffering for it. It is one of the few times our family settles down together and discuss our day. I have five kids so my spanking hand stays raw, but my kids are some of the most respectful and well mannered children most people ever meet. Children are like anything in life, the effort you put in shows in the result you get out.
     

    Texas1911

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    May 29, 2017
    10,596
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    Austin, TX
    High Cap is absolutely right. You must be a parent first, and a friend second. Most people get it backwards nowadays. You can spot them because their kids are running around like banshees, yelling and screaming, and breaking stuff. Also, eat dinner as a family at the table. This tradition is dying, and society is suffering for it. It is one of the few times our family settles down together and discuss our day. I have five kids so my spanking hand stays raw, but my kids are some of the most respectful and well mannered children most people ever meet. Children are like anything in life, the effort you put in shows in the result you get out.

    5 kids, man that's a handful I'd imagine.
     

    txinvestigator

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    May 28, 2008
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    Ft Worth, TX
    As a Dad you get to teach them things moms are just not equipped to teach. Always be honest with her. Teach her values EARLY on. Find ways to make life lessons.

    My now 14 year old daughter went to a Christian school K thru 4th grade. (the drive became unbearable as our little town grew) In the 3rd grade her and another girl hid a boys glasses (boy was a year younger and very small for his age) in the girls room. When they went back to get them the glasses were gone. The teacher told me when I picked her up from school. I did not yell, but immediately told her how dissappointed in her I was. I told her as a Christian she was supposed to protect those who were weaker. That she was his tormentor was sad and wrong. I went on and on. I told her that her mom and I would have to buy the boy new glasses if the other girls parents would not split the cost with us. (I explained that even though half was fair, HIS parents should not have to pay a penny, so it was the right thing to do to )

    She cried, went home and wrote a letter of apology to the boy, his parents and her teacher. I did not tell her to. Her letter was amazing. Fortunately the glasses made their way to lost and found. She is now a HUGE supporter of kids who get picked on. She often interjects herself into situations where someone is picking on another. She has become a champion for the weak, akward and different. (yes, I am proud)

    Discipline is very important, but remember from where the word comes; disciple. After you discipline her ALWAYS hug her and let her know you still love her.

    As Dawico said, be a parent. She will have plenty of friends.

    And the most important thing you can do is LOVE HER MOTHER. The example you set for her will be the guide for what she looks for in relationships. How you treat her mother will tell her how she should allow herself to be treated. I cannot stress this enough.

    Congrats, future dad. Your life will never be the same.
     

    proforguns

    Active Member
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    Apr 10, 2010
    715
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    Pipe Creek
    Be there for all the boring birthing classes and dont argue about her feelings they are going to be down right crazy.But most important no matter how much pain you have ever been in it will be NOTHING compared to the pain you put HER in .Congatulations
     

    bvillars

    Member
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    0   0   0
    Feb 22, 2009
    140
    1
    Congratulations to you and your wife. As Tx Invest. stated, love your wife and teach her to be respectful of all others. If she slips up occasionally love her and show her the proper path. As far as which University, I am a Texas Alum and all my children received their undergrad diplomas there. It is a really nice school in the start of the hill country. But they earned their advance degrees from three different universities. One did go back and received her law degree from Texas. The problem is I have a farm in SE Texas and none of them majored in ag. So if your little blessing attende A&M , there are plenty of teasips who will need her advise. Hug her everyday and thank god for her
     

    Southpaw

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    14   0   0
    Mar 30, 2009
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    Guadalupe Co.
    You guys are awesome... you'll never know how grateful I am for everyone's advice. Her name is Chloe Elisabeth and I will let her know how lucky she is to be in such great company. Plus she's a Texan which don't hurt either, right???

    Not bad for a Jersey boy, huh???? :p
     

    Texasjack

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    Jan 3, 2010
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    Occupied Texas
    First, it's not your job to the the kid's buddy. It's your job to be Dad. Some days, they won't like that and you may be unhappy as well. But it's more important that the kid can survive than that the kid is happy 100% of the time.

    Start early teaching the kid how to behave. NEVER put up with tantrums in restaurants and such. Take turns taking the kid outside if necessary, but they have to learn how to behave. They are not born with such knowledge and they WON'T learn unless you work with them. (I'm amazed at how many people will let kids do things they wouldn't tolerate from a dog.) You don't have to beat them or such; just be consistent.

    Kid's go through at least 3 stages: When their born, they are nothing but food processors. You put food in one end, there is a lot of noise, and it comes out the other end. But they are very, very cute, so you keep them. Then, they are in the "kid" stage. Everything is new and exciting! You'll find that things you no longer care for - the circus, the zoo - become enormously fun!

    Then, they become teenagers. Usually this happens in Jr. High. Suddenly, the kid doesn't have "parents". She'll have "those old people I live with that ruin my life" It's not much fun. Every year it will become more and more expensive. You will develop arthritis from writing checks for school. Eventually, the kid will be old enough to go away. You will be relieved because they have been so obnoxious. It's all according to God's plan. Eventually, they will realize you were probably right all along and you can again have a working relationship.

    Get some sleep now, because once your child is born, you will never, ever sleep peacefully again. No, seriously, never.
     

    majormadmax

    Úlfhéðnar
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    9   0   0
    Aug 27, 2009
    15,969
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    Helotes!
    A good friend once told me "if you wait until you're ready to have kids, you'll never have them!"

    (He said the same thing about money...if you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have them").

    We were lucky as we had two boys, so parenting is more physical force than psychological operations as it is with girls; but as long as you are a concerned and engaged parent, you'll do fine. It is nobody's job but your own to raise your kids, and it is the most important responsibility you will ever have in life. Not only for your child, but also society as a whole. Raise them right, and you'll have less to worry about when they start making decisions on their own.

    And most importantly, congratulations! Having kids completely restructured my priorities in life, for the better.

    Cheers! M2
     

    oldguy

    Well-Known
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    0   0   0
    Mar 6, 2008
    1,891
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    You stepping into a whole new world some good some bad, your life is forever changed, you must be a role model can't be this idea do as I say not as I do, teach values, morals, do the right anything at any cost, well worth the adventure, my last suggestion do all possible to keep her out of public school because you can do all the above and the public schools system can void it. I wish you all happiness & may you raise a happy healthy girl.
     

    TexasRedneck

    1911 Nut
    Lifetime Member
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    9   0   0
    Jan 23, 2009
    14,569
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    New Braunfels, TX
    All the above, and one other important thing - a lie is a lie. Period. There's no "gray area". Thing is, you have to remember that in YOUR life, as well, because they'll watch and learn by your example. Mine learned the painful consequences of a lie early on - and learned that telling the truth (even when you KNEW you were gonna "get it") often brought less punishment than expected...

    And NEVER promise your kids something you can't deliver on!! When mine asked about something I didn't KNOW I could do, I'd explain it to 'em, and let them honestly know the "chances". They learned to "trust" my word that way - and it was a great example to them of how to do things.
     

    ROGER4314

    Been Called "Flash" Since I Was A Kid!
    Rating - 100%
    1   0   0
    Jul 11, 2009
    10,444
    66
    East Houston
    Congrats!

    It is true that your life will never be the same. It is also true that kids learn from EVERYTHING they see and hear. If you cheat, they will, too. If you lie, they will, too. Lose your temper, yell, have compassion and tenderness, tell the truth, be honest, it will all be seen in your children.

    One more thing is important. The PLAY of a child is deadly serious. They emulate, copy and then replay what they have learned. Their play is where the child practices to be an adult. If you see behavior acted out in their play, take it seriously and move to correct it immediately.

    How long do you do this teaching? From now on until you die. It's a tough job.

    Good luck!

    Flash
     
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