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Asking Permission?

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  • cvgunman

    Not a Leftist douchebag!
    Rating - 100%
    16   0   0
    Oct 9, 2017
    2,469
    96
    Mckinney TX
    I never ask my wife’s permission for anything. I just spent $3000 ordering the new Beretta 92FS Centennial Limited Edition. Showed her the order and told her its my money and I deserve it; period.

    The doctor says the eye should reopen in a couple of days.
    Sounds like you better sleep with the good eye open :)
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,022
    96
    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    Just so everyone understands the full context, as a couple seemed to take exception and wanted to cherry pick my posts!
    Imagine that on a public forum!

    My wife wants or needs nothing. I am a few years older than she is and have lived a very different life than she has. We have a very good marriage, and we communicate on just about everything. If I'm thinking about buying something, we talk about it. Not that I'm asking for her permission, but out of courtesy and respect to her. She deserves nothing less from me. I expect other people to show her respect, so I can't do less than what I expect from others in how they treat her. Besides, she shows an interest in the things that I enjoy, just as much as I do in the things she enjoys. She likes guns and such things, and she loves to go fishing. So we talk about pretty much everything. She also knows I try not to spend money foolishly either.

    There isn't much she and I don't talk about. I do make most of the difficult decisions, since I have more experience with many things than she does. Case in point, when we built our house over sixteen years ago, she had never had her own house, ever. This is my fifth house now that I have owned. So many things related to owning a house I have much more experience at and I know how to deal with issues she has never dealt with before. We do discuss these things, so she knows what is going on. I don't do much without talking to her first, because she is my wife, and my partner. And there are times we discuss things, and she comes up with a good suggestion and we have gone with that instead of what I might have planned on doing. That is why we talk about everything. I keep no secrets from her, ever.

    She has seen me at my worst and at my best. She has always had my back, and and always stood with me, even when I was wrong about something.

    We talk about just anything at times. We laugh and joke with each other. I still enjoy her company. How many married couples can say that after 18 years of marriage? I have no idea, but I can say, I'm hoping for at least another 18 years with this wonderful woman.
     

    mad88minute

    Well-Known
    Rating - 100%
    5   0   0
    Oct 13, 2017
    1,659
    96
    Houston
    . She understands I work in a job field I hate to bring home the bacon so we can live the way we do.

    My wife is very traditional but she does work and any money she has is hers to keep. Currently, I pay every bill except for one bill that she funnels all of her money into (her choice).

    We are in a similar situation. My wife dosent need to work, but chooses to. She uses her paycheck to pay for her car payment, and extracurriculars for the kids.
    She pays for softball, piano, golf, violin. Anything the kids want to get into.
    She is so frugal this is the inly way she can stay sane paying for my kids.

    Also, i have a hard field position. Some times looking fwd to a new purchase gets me thru a long shift.

    Sent from my moto e6 using Tapatalk
     

    Whistler

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    12   0   0
    Jan 28, 2014
    3,384
    96
    Northeast Texas
    After 30 years together we have a system that works for us. I try to loop her in on finances but as someone else said I have things earmarked for certain accounts. She asks me on major purchases to make sure we can afford it and what account to use. Nobody asks permission.

    After my parents moved out of our guest cabin she wanted to rent it out. I told her it was all hers have fun but she chooses to pay a few utilities with the rent she collects. The rest goes into her account which she usually spends on this grandkid or that. Occasionally I transfer some money over there if she tells me she's short on something.

    Otherwise she only knows the plan I juggle in my head not the details. I buy her anything she asks for, I buy whatever I want.

    Recently she's been after me to buy myself a new truck. I have '97 Z71 that I'm happy with, with this RV and the food trailer I'm considering I may need to but I'm good for now.

    My only complaint is every trip to town has a number of small charges. $27 here, $34 there etc. and she doesn't keep track but it adds up to a couple hundred bucks every time she goes. 3-4 trips a week times a couple hundred bucks and it turns into my only financial complaint.
     

    Mowingmaniac 24/7

    TGT Addict
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    0   0   0
    Nov 7, 2015
    9,389
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    I've only read page 1, but Axxe and I have the same 'not asking permission' philosophy.

    And, my wife doesn't ask me either.

    We're good with this approach with what we want to buy, when we want buy, where we etc.....and we're not and never have been in debt.

    Yeah, betcha that's not true because you have a mortgage and vehicles to buy on the installment plan.

    Nope, we bought everything we own - outright!

    Including house/land/vehicles and all else.
     

    cjtexas

    Member
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Oct 21, 2009
    170
    46
    West Texas
    It’s weird how this thread almost says what we would say. “Oh baby, I’ve had that for forever, I like your shoes, that I’ve never seen before Imelda.....(she hates being called Imelda). It’s funny. Enjoy life, the world
     

    Texasjack

    TGT Addict
    Rating - 50%
    1   1   0
    Jan 3, 2010
    5,867
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    Occupied Texas
    Personally, I have never understood the rationale behind a grown man, that felt compelled to ask his wife for permission to buy something, or to do something he wanted to do.

    Hell, I'm a grown ass man! I haven't asked for permission since I was sixteen years old. I have had to ask for forgiveness a few times over the years, but never for permission.

    Am I the last of a dying breed?
    I don't ask permission, but I always take responsibility for anything I do. To me, that's what defines you as a man.
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,022
    96
    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    My first marriage was a disaster, of epic proportions! My second, was a little better. Noth of my ex-wives thought they would control, or "change" me to fit what they thought I should be. Both did expect me to ask for "permission" to spend money, or to do the things that I wanted to do. Sorry, just not my style. An adult shouldn't have to ask their spouse for permission to do things. Children ask their parents for permission, not adults.

    My current wife doesn't ask me for permission to spend money or to do things from me. Only one time I put the stop on her going somewhere with her friends, and that's because we had some really, really bad weather moving it and I didn't want her having to drive home in it.

    A marriage is suppose to be built on trust and communication. If you can't trust, or are able to talk with your partner in the marriage, should you even be married in the first place? I trust my wife, and I trust her judgement to do the right things.
     

    Sam7sf

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    10   0   0
    Apr 13, 2018
    12,466
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    Texas
    I will argue yet comply with the wife on most things. One thing I don’t do is ask if it’s ok to buy another gun if I have extra money. I told her once that shall not be infringed applies to marriage too. I don’t do this out of disrespect. I’m just naturally a free spirit. She has said this about me many times.

    she works as a medical biller and likes to control bills. Works for me. I just work and collect paychecks then see what’s left over to play with. Like father like son. I now see I have on some things turned into my dad. My old man treated my mom like a secretary. Example would be I hate technology and my wife has payment options saved for amazon, midway USA, gun mag warehouse, ect and I just browse and tell her I need such and such ordered.

    As for joint money: just be realistic.
    It’s not both peoples money. The money she earns is not mine. I didn’t work for it. The money I made is not hers. She didn’t work for it. It’s money you both are willing to give up in order to make something happen. Imo more couples need to live cheaper. A lot of couples fight about money...the more money I make I become cheaper while she wants to spend a little more. Like shopping for a manufactured home. I see no need to spend over 90 grand. She on the other hands needs a kitchen that only Gordon Ramsey would cook in.

    Does it have walls? Check.
    Does it have a roof, doors and windows? Check.
    Shitter and shower? Check.
    Kitchen? Check.
     

    Axxe55

    Retiretgtshit stirrer
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Dec 15, 2019
    47,022
    96
    Lost in East Texas Elhart Texas
    I will argue yet comply with the wife on most things. One thing I don’t do is ask if it’s ok to buy another gun if I have extra money. I told her once that shall not be infringed applies to marriage too. I don’t do this out of disrespect. I’m just naturally a free spirit. She has said this about me many times.

    she works as a medical biller and likes to control bills. Works for me. I just work and collect paychecks then see what’s left over to play with. Like father like son. I now see I have on some things turned into my dad. My old man treated my mom like a secretary. Example would be I hate technology and my wife has payment options saved for amazon, midway USA, gun mag warehouse, ect and I just browse and tell her I need such and such ordered.

    As for joint money: just be realistic.
    It’s not both peoples money. The money she earns is not mine. I didn’t work for it. The money I made is not hers. She didn’t work for it. It’s money you both are willing to give up in order to make something happen. Imo more couples need to live cheaper. A lot of couples fight about money...the more money I make I become cheaper while she wants to spend a little more. Like shopping for a manufactured home. I see no need to spend over 90 grand. She on the other hands needs a kitchen that only Gordon Ramsey would cook in.

    Does it have walls? Check.
    Does it have a roof, doors and windows? Check.
    Shitter and shower? Check.
    Kitchen? Check.

    The older I get, the less I really care about material things, other than guns! In 2005, I had a house built for my wife on land I have had for many years down here on the family farm. If I had been single, I'd probably have just a small trailer house, and huge workshop for my projects and hobbies! But she had never ever had a house of her own, so I wanted to have something nice, that was her's to call home. A home of her own. It's not huge or fancy, but it's nice and she likes it. That's all that matters.

    My needs are getting simpler as every year passes. I care nothing about fancy clothes or jewelry, or fast cars, or the trappings of my youth. I'm very fortunate my wife is of the same notions for the most part. She hardly ever asks for anything for herself, and when she does, it's usually never something elaborate. The last sort of elaborate thing she wanted, was the back porch screened in. I made it happen for her.
     

    Sam7sf

    TGT Addict
    Lifetime Member
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    10   0   0
    Apr 13, 2018
    12,466
    96
    Texas
    The older I get, the less I really care about material things, other than guns! In 2005, I had a house built for my wife on land I have had for many years down here on the family farm. If I had been single, I'd probably have just a small trailer house, and huge workshop for my projects and hobbies! But she had never ever had a house of her own, so I wanted to have something nice, that was her's to call home. A home of her own. It's not huge or fancy, but it's nice and she likes it. That's all that matters.

    My needs are getting simpler as every year passes. I care nothing about fancy clothes or jewelry, or fast cars, or the trappings of my youth. I'm very fortunate my wife is of the same notions for the most part. She hardly ever asks for anything for herself, and when she does, it's usually never something elaborate. The last sort of elaborate thing she wanted, was the back porch screened in. I made it happen for her.
    That’s why I will go over budget. Like you mentioned it’s something that she cares about and wants. Most of what I care about and want is in the gun safes.

    As much as I want a break, god does have a plan and when he gives us opportunity we should take it. Like this whole covid thing. I’m burned out from working so much but it allowed me to get land. It’s going to allow me to build on it. Get an atv or tractor I need to work it.

    I can definitely wiggle a bit on the price of a home.
     

    MTA

    TGT Addict
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    40   0   0
    Mar 10, 2017
    9,054
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    Fannin
    That’s why I will go over budget. Like you mentioned it’s something that she cares about and wants. Most of what I care about and want is in the gun safes.

    As much as I want a break, god does have a plan and when he gives us opportunity we should take it. Like this whole covid thing. I’m burned out from working so much but it allowed me to get land. It’s going to allow me to build on it. Get an atv or tractor I need to work it.

    I can definitely wiggle a bit on the price of a home.
    You bought land?? When the hell are we going shooting?
     

    Sam7sf

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    10   0   0
    Apr 13, 2018
    12,466
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    Texas
    You bought land?? When the hell are we going shooting?
    The better place to shoot is 15 minutes away at my in laws. Hog out there too and the back part is nicely wooded. A few members here have joined the club. You’re welcome anytime. The soil seems really good on my lot. I’m gonna start with seasonal crops such as pumpkins.

    A view from where I will put a shed/office. I haven’t had time to mow.
    99D862D3-4A13-4759-A938-236F95F467E6.jpeg
     

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    jordanmills

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    0   0   0
    Sep 29, 2009
    5,371
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    Pearland, TX
    The better place to shoot is 15 minutes away at my in laws. Hog out there too and the back part is nicely wooded. A few members here have joined the club. You’re welcome anytime. The soil seems really good on my lot. I’m gonna start with seasonal crops such as pumpkins.

    A view from where I will put a shed/office. I haven’t had time to mow.
    View attachment 219338
    That looks nice. What part of the state is it in?
     
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