Divorce?

Any one here been divorced? Why did you? Was it because y'all learned you were not right for each other? Wanted to find greener pastures? Tired of women BS?
Did you have kids? Was it a clean break or as Jerry Reed once said "she got the gold mine and you got the shaft?"

Obviously asking for a reason, Cuz I'm tired, I'm so tired of hearing it all the time. We don't even talk any more "I don't like your tone of voice" She knows I'm damn near deaf in both my ears and work in loud environments. "Hey, remind me I'm loud".
We have one kid Shes 5 now and totally amazing. Id like to have at least 1 more, but shes says wont have any more kids with me. I Let her know that's okay I'll find some one else. That's what great bout being good looking I guess!

I'm 31 now(but still 25) seems like women my age really have the "equality, I deserve more because I'm a women, White men are privileged".
All I want is peace and quite... Loud bangs are okay.
Only a few years ago I learned this is not what love is.
/Rant

PsychoOutlaw said:

We have one kid Shes 5 now and totally amazing. Id like to have at least 1 more, but shes says wont have any more kids with me. I Let her know that's okay I'll find some one else. That's what great bout being good looking I guess!

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I hate this so much. I'll pray that you are your wife will be able to change. Work on yourself, but I'll pray for you both. Also the kid doesn't deserve this.

Also suggest this book: Connecting Through "Yes!" - https://amzn.to/2Ce4HTE

Nope. I skipped my first couple of marriages, went right to the last one. But mostly just got lucky, I guess.

Sorry to hear this. Only advice I can give is absolutely, positively DO NOT have another kid with her

MTA89 said:

Sorry to hear this. Only advice I can give is absolutely, positively DO NOT have another kid with her

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Only if my kid would be similar to your picture. "Texas kids" HAHA

jordanmills said:

Nope. I skipped my first couple of marriages, went right to the last one. But mostly just got lucky, I guess.

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What does that even mean!?

PsychoOutlaw said:

What does that even mean!?

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Only married once.

It will suck for the kid, but what can you do. If it's over it's over. No point in dragging it out. I am divorced once. Won't make the mistake of getting married again. If I find the one again the paper work won't matter anyway.

Woman are crazy. Not all of them.
Just the 99.9%. that are that make the rest of them look bad.
Eject and move on.

The internet is the wrong place to find the answer.


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The 2 of you fighting each other, especially if you are not on the same page about having or raising kids, is not good for the child. Neither is divorce. Think long and hard on it.
Sounds like both of you you have some issues about yourselves to work out to me. If your family, especially the kids, are not more important than yourself, you have no business having either. At this point, sounds like she is right. Having more kids at this point would cause more problems. Both financially and emotionally.
Family is not about what "you get out of it" , but instead "what you put into it".



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Younggun said:

The internet is the wrong place to find the answer.


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Damned if that ain't probably the best answer you are going to get.


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It takes 2 to tango. Aka- there are 2 sides of the story.

Makes sure ya'll air it out with a 3rd party that is neutral, aka therapist.

This decision will mean that your kids would/could come under the rule of another man.

There is only one pair of pants in a marriage. One leg is for you, the other leg is for her.

Have ya'll gotten away from the kids and had a vacation/weekend together?

Been there done that. Look, life is short. Don't spend your whole life unhappy. If it means divorce than do it. Coming on 30 years in my second marriage.

First one is practice & really doesn't count!

It sux to hear your situation. I have friends that are divorced but ive been with the same woman for 20yrs.
Usually in the situation like years where it seems over ... it is. It sux to say but cut your losses now if neither of you are happy. I have to agree with previous post... Do Not Have Another Kid if your not happy. It only makes the situation worse. My parents thought having another kid would help.... only made things worse, they split up a couple years later & both my younger brothers have scrwed thier lives up by making wrong life decisions. I think it all comes back to living with their mom from the time they were 5, until teenagers. Then i tried to raise them as teens after my father passed away, but they were already set in their ways of street life. I was only 24 at the time i tried raising them. Im sure i did some wrong things as a "parent" but they still knew right from wrong & i felt it was up to me to instill life lessons to them, so they could be better pillars of society. Now they are 37 & 35 one is doing 25 years & the other sleeps on friends couches & works odd jobs. I tried to help them but they can only want to help them selves.

I have a buddy who makes good money, was married with 2 kids. They lived in her grandmother house so there was a huge savings. He starts telling me he getting divorced because over 3 years $450K aint accountable for. Smart enough for the older of the 2 kids to leave home. He claims his laywer was $60K, which I believe.

He struggles with getting time to spend with his youngest daughter. He work offshore & is gone a lot. When it's his turn & he is home the kid blows him off. He also has another daughter from another divorce. She's full grown & acts pretty crazy about even talking to him.

I hear him say lots of times his kids aint getting nothing when he dies. Keeps telling me that his brother & me are going to score. I keep reninding him I'm older & in worse shape!

Yes. Divorced once. My advice is that if there's any possibility of working it out, see if you can do it.
It is hardest on the kids. And now we have THREE kids whose marriages look to be ending. So I would say it also sets up a cycle that is not good. That was 25 years ago, and I still feel guilt about how hard it was on the kids and how it set them up for the same pain for themselves. Got any buddies that know a great counselor? Ask around. Take inventory of why you married her in the first place. If any of that is left, go see a good counselor and see if you can hang onto it.
Praying for your positive outcome.

On marriage #2. We just celebrated 13 years married 2 weeks ago, 14 years together. My first marriage lasted 4.5 years - which was 4 years too long.

In the first marriage - my wife hadn't stopped dating other men. I found out, we separated for a while, tried working it out, but she started seeing another dude again and ran off with him. Emptied the bank account on her way out. Thankfully we never made a baby she didn't "miscarry" - pretty sure she did a couple self-induced abortions and had a profession one because she didn't know who the daddy really was. Guess I dodged a bullet, but I'm pro-life and it pains me to think that maybe a child of mine was killed before he or she got a chance at life.

Besides that, there were lots of fights over money - she was a habitual job-jumper, she'd stay with one employer for about 2-4 months before quitting or getting fired. That lead us to more than a couple times of making the decision - pay rent, or eat. She had a 4 year old daughter when we got together.

The cherry on top was her abusive nature - I had her arrested once because the alternative would've been winding up in jail myself (she decided to clock me with a heavy hard plastic hair brush, I decided it'd be better to let the cops deal with her than hit her back) - and then she was arrested for child abuse about a year later for smacking her daughter while cops were serving papers on our neighbor, they heard the commotion (paper thin walls), heard the smack, and then my genius wife opened the door when the cop pounded on it demanding entry, and he sees an 8 year old with a bloody nose. He took her for felony child abuse, which she plead to a class A misdemeanor. It was during her supervised probation / community service period she met the dude she wound up taking off with.

My lesson in all that? Don't get married at 20, don't stay in a bad relationship, and don't think you can change a person. I was naive back then and thought that marriage was indeed a forever thing, for better or worse. I got lots of the worse part, rarely saw the better! I was a door mat white knight dipshit going in, by the time I got out of that relationship, I was pretty jaded. We tried counseling, it didn't work.

My wife - my current wife - was a friend from high school, and we got back in touch after my divorce. I was honest about her with my failings in that relationship, the things my ex did, and made it clear what kind of stuff I would never put up with again.

Life is too short to spend in a bad relationship. IF you wind up getting divorced you have to make sure your child is priority. Children suffer most when mom & dad divorce, or when they stay together in a toxic relationship. The child's well being comes first.

baboon said:

First one is practice & really doesn't count!

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Bullshit