Nah, im open minded but also analytical. I get the "better to have it it and when you need it" argument to an extent. So i suppose its like insurance in a way.
I suppose part of it comes from experience with poor road conditions in the winter where i found 4wd as nice but not necessary but im not experienced trying to pull a trailer out of a muddy field.
So ill accept the insurance argument, nice to have. But it does to me seem a luxury or a non-necessity for most.
I was raised in the country. I come from a farming family. A large south Texas farming family. Over the years while growing up I learned to drive tractors, shoot guns, watch 4leggeds being born, slaughtered animals for the holiday dinner, pulled headers, flat trailers & fuel tanks, got stuck in wet south texas clay, had to pull out stucks, played on the terrain when we went out to the hunting lease, hauled loads of firewood, gone grocery shopping and drove to Sunday church, all while traveling in the same vehicle, Dad's truck. Our oldest, fondest and most vivid memories of our childhood (my sister and I reminisce) is riding in Dad's truck as we did all these things. All we had in our family is 4wd trucks. Even mom who is a teacher. Her truck needed to be able to do work too in case she was in a situation or another truck was unavailable. We drove trucks because they are the best all around tool for us. They do the best job day to day, in every living situation to get work done, to play and generally, to live.
Fast forward to me today. I don't live in the country (but I'm clawing like hell to get back). The way I was raised colors my preferences and the long game of our goals in life and the things we want and work towards today. I have never owned a car. My vehicle is and always will always be a 4wd truck. Dad taught us how to drive in his trucks (always 4wd). The vehicles we drove through high school were the family trucks. We drive 4wd trucks, period. My parents still do. My sisters do. We are a truck family. They get stuff done. They are our preference. (Heck I'd go as far to say I think every household should have a 4wd truck in their driveway).
After I graduated college, married and left home to embark on my new life with my Navy husband. I had my truck. We lived in the PNW. Not a lot of snow there but it wasn't South Texas, that's for sure. My husband vehicle was a Tahoe. Both 4wds. From there we PCSd to northern Japan where terrain is mountainous and averaged 10-12' snow/year. Ice on the ground 6mths out of the year. I didn't have my truck anymore. No personal POVs allowed so I had to sell my truck, and his. I cried. Mine wasn't just a truck and neither was the one it replaced. The trucks were a part of my life and they were a part of my family's life. They contained many memories. We viewed life through those windshields and sitting in those seats.
In Japan I drove a 4wd diesel. I used 4wd in snow and ice. I pretty much popped the Tcase in 4hi and that's where it stayed for months on end unless it was an unusually clear section of road. My truck was the "good vehicle" for all around Japan travel with our dog while my husband drove a little 4wd commuting to work. BTW, the stuff and ice and sliding and driving with a 4wd, they're all true. After driving in those conditions for three years I learned, 1. a 4wd does offer better traction, particularly in low speed and tighter more precise areas such your parking area, when leaving a spot and you are more likely to be piled in or going over ruts and road clear mounds, or stop & go traffic on iced streets. 2. You do slide in 4wd. If you are sliding in 4wd, you sure as heck were sliding in 2wd. 3. 4wd IS a benefit and offers better control in more situations than 2wd. It allows 4 corners of grip so that a lower RPM, slower speed and less momentum must be used in areas where there may be parked cars, infrastructure, or pedestrians. It is safer and offer more control. In 2wd you have to apply gas to use momentum which increases the risk of losing control because the drive wheels are spinning. 4. 4wd does not mean you get to drive faster. It does mean you have better control during steering input and maneuvering because you have more points of drive traction that can be utilized. If you are driving too fast for conditions, you're driving too fast for conditions. 2 or 4wd won't matter. Having experienced living in severe icy and snowy condition for three years, I will always use a 4wd in those conditions and use an appropriate speed.
We PCSed back to Texas. And now here. I have a 4wd diesel truck again. I live within city limits of a suburban community within a large metroplex area. But it isn't the be all end all of who I am. I still do the things I did like I was raised, and will do them until the day I die. I'm experienced in handling a truck in various weather conditions and various terrain. I don't use my truck tow anything unless it is impromptu. I do still haul a load of firewood when I run low. The truck still hauls whatever needs hauling in a truck bed. It still goes to get groceries. It is my daily driver. It's paid off. It is maintained and taken care of. I love my truck. It will when the time comes carry kids. And they'll love it. Family and friends kids call it "the monster truck!" and they enjoy it. They should. I loved riding in my Dad's truck when I was a kid. I've got a lot of living to do and the current city living situation is not the end state.
BC, you said you wanted to understand. So the most I could give you to help you do that is all this I just typed out. For me, it isn't all about specs as to what I drive. My upbringing has influenced what I want to drive. The family traditions, the brand preferences, and generally "the way we do things". Those are things can't be measured.
Some of the more measurable characteristics - I like that my truck is bigger and taller than cars. It lets me have a great field of view. I'm able to spot traffic conditions and anticipate my moves before I become wrapped in an accident or condition. I'm only 5'3" and always the short one in the group, perhaps being "tall" in my truck is the way I get a cheap thrill lol I like having a truck bed to haul stuff. Never been without that capability and I place a high value on it. I like that 4wd offers more terrain capability. Even down to a condition as measly as wet grass, as common as needing to unload landscape materials by backing onto a nice front lawn to get to the drop area or to the back yard. Being in 4hi does not tear up the grass like 2wd does. In 2wd mashing the go pedal to get moving when stuck spins the drive tire(s) until they tear up the surface enough to find traction. That damages lawns. In 4hi, a little go pedal and added lower torque of the tcase ratio give the truck an advantage to climb out without tearing down to dirt. The reason is you have 4 points of contact making the pull instead of 1 or 2 in the case of LSD rears or FWD cars. You don't necessarily have the same coefficient of traction at all four points. There is the advantage. Perhaps the front wheels are on a solid surface with traction while the rear are in the wet surface. The fronts will pull and offer enough drive to exit the lawn without tearing down the grass and burning mud tracks. Now when I want to go tear up dirt and have fun I get to do that too. I'm a country girl so I have done my share of taking my truck through the mud. 4wd does give you more mud to wash off (disadvantage!). And on the offroad topic, we do still go out hunting. The truck needs to be capable the minimum of driving down easy dirt road as you enter the front gate of the property (no 4wd needed) or get through the worst section way at the back after a soaking rain that has the washouts at the foot of the steep hill peppered and uneven basketball sized or bigger boulders and slick mud.
Anyway, I'd put my skill and knowledge of handling a 4wd truck up against anybody's. My truck is not a race car and I don't drive it as such. My truck is not a demolition derby ride, as much as I'd love it to be on the roadways these days. My truck is an extension of who I am. It is capable. It is a tool. It can handle the heavy, the dirty, the ugly and the fun. But it carries precious cargo rather comfortably and in my opinion and experience, rather warm and fondly. I'm proud of the truck I drive and the trucks I've driven. I will always have a 4wd truck because that's the kind of life I live. If folks don't see them necessary, that's ok. You have your life, I have mine. Hope you have gained some insight to why I drive a truck.