THE SNAKEBITE; A STORY

[skfullgun]

No thanks. I'd rather NOT imagine that!

 

[skfullgun]

The only thing worse than snakes is spiders! I swear that made the little hairs on my arm stand up straight!

 

[gshayd]

My friend got bit on his penis while squatting to take a crap. I called the Emergency Line. When I was through my friend asked what the doctor said. I told him the Doctor said he was going to die.

 

[skfullgun]

Ok, a spider story...

I was visiting friends near Hallettsville. I was sitting in a chair enjoying a beverage and glanced over to see a HUGE fake tarantula in a potted plant about 18" from my chair. I said, " that's real funny, guys!" They acted like they didn't know what I was talking about as I pointed to the fake spider placed there to scare me. Then, the damn thing MOVED!!!

I jumped up and ran, screaming like a school girl. It was a real live tarantula. It shortly met it's demise.

Come to find out, they are not uncommon in that region of sandy soil.

I know they are harmless. That is, until they cause a heart attack!

 

[birddog]

Sounds like my neighbor. Kills every fkn thing that doesn’t suit his fancy.

Never had a prob with rats until he killed several big rat snakes that have been around for ages. I’ve had the wiring in several exotic cars chewed up since then.

 

[txinvestigator]

My friend got bit on his penis while squatting to take a crap. I called the Emergency Line. When I was through my friend asked what the doctor said. I told him the Doctor said he was going to die.

You are missing the part that makes it funny.

 

[skfullgun]

Sounds like my neighbor. Kills every fkn thing that doesn’t suit his fancy.

Never had a prob with rats until he killed several big rat snakes that have been around for ages. I’ve had the wiring in several exotic cars chewed up since then.

Don't moon me bro. You just showed your arse!
I don't kill all. Just the ones that come too close to the house!

 

[birddog]

Arses don’t exist in Texas.

Asses, yes. And I have been known to show mine on occasion.

 

[Hoji]

Took this little guy out of a coworkers vehicle. He tagged me while getting him out from under the seat.

 

[skfullgun]

Arses DO exist in Texas. I was bred and born here and lived here my whole life - except for the times when Uncle Sam called me away. Arses are inbred, wanna be asses that show up at THE most inappropriate times!
And I'm TOLD, they play with snakes!

 

[BRD@66]

You are missing the part that makes it funny.

The doctor actually said that the attending friend (the story tellor) would have to suck the poison out of the snake bite. Attending friend then reported back to bitee that the Dr. said "you're gonna die".
At age 10, while retrieving a dove for my uncle, I stepped over a Western Diamondback but the snake was kind enough to give me a pass.
In the early 70s springtime, on dirtbikes, we used to try to run over tarantulas on the FM hwy that circles L. Nasworthy (OC Fisher) in San Angelo.

 

[skfullgun]

Now THAT'S funny!

 

[gshayd]

You are missing the part that makes it funny.

well as far as I know you would have to handle something to get the venom out. Plus that joke is older than Moses.

 

[txinvestigator]

The doctor actually said that the attending friend (the story tellor) would have to suck the poison out of the snake bite. Attending friend then reported back to bitee that the Dr. said "you're gonna die".
At age 10, while retrieving a dove for my uncle, I stepped over a Western Diamondback but the snake was kind enough to give me a pass.
In the early 70s springtime, on dirtbikes, we used to try to run over tarantulas on the FM hwy that circles L. Nasworthy (OC Fisher) in San Angelo.

Still missing part of the story.

 

[deemus]

When I was a teenager I was obsessed with killing a rattlesnake so I could make a belt out of it. I had several near misses, runovers that I could not locate.

Then one cool night on a road near Clifton, I ran over two rattlers together. It was about midnight, and that time of year when it was pretty warm during the day, then pretty cool at night.

Checked the glove box, no pistol. Checked the trunk, only a hammer. So I chunked the hammer at the snake at the edge of the road who was injured, but not dead. It hit the pavement and careened off into the ditch. I swung the car around with the lights shining into the ditch, and made my way to get the hammer.

I found it about that time my mom yells, "be careful, I heard where there's one, there's a few." I looked up at the road, then the ditch. And almost pissed myself. I had walked right over about nine rattlers. They were all coiled up keeping warm. Not sure my heart has raced like that before or since.

I jump-ran through that ditch trying to go high over the snakes, one at a time. Made it back to the road without getting bit, forgot to pickup the hammer, got in my car and drove the hell out of there.

That was my last foray into a ditch at night to this day.

 

[ian]

I was at a lake. Group of kids came running up yelling rattlesnake! I picked up a rock and started walking over to it. Then some toothless tweaker shows up emploring me not to kill it. He wanted to catch it. I said go right ahead. He picked up a 6" twig and attempted to pin the baby buzzworm's head down. He reached down and and then pulled his hand back very fast. The snake had grabbed onto his finger and was flung several feet over his head as he jerked back dumping it's whole load of venom into him. I walked back to the picnic area leaving him. A few moments later he came walking back down the bank holding the snake on his arm. I thought he was holding it by the head. Nope, he was holding by the button. He tied his shoe lace around his wrist to prevent the spread of venom(lol). He floated in the lake for 25 minutes or so while his hand swelled like a blown up latex glove, and then left for the clinic. Read in the paper later he spent 3 days in ICU.

 

[skfullgun]

Yep.

 

[Army 1911]

well as far as I know you would have to handle something to get the venom out. Plus that joke is older than Moses.

Moses was the first to tell it.

 

[Army 1911]

You guys are throwing too much venom around.

I need a safe space.

 

[kenboyles72]

Never been bit by poisonous snakes, but have been bit by numerous king snakes, rat snakes, etc playing with 'em.