I can't even touch my toes without bending my knees.
Funny Picture - Video Thread III
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Wonder if she’s a democrat. Absolutely able to stick her head up her @$$.....
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Axxe55
Retiretgtshit stirrer
Bob works hard at the plant & spends two nights each week bowling & plays golf every Saturday. His wife wants to reward him for working so hard, so for his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them & says, "Hi, Bob, how ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled & asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, the waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual & brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable & says, "How did she know you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to the table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him & says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse & storms out of the club. Bob follows & sees her getting into a cab. Before she slams the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife doesn't believe him. She is screaming at him, calling him every four-letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around & says, "Gee Bob, you picked up a real b---- this time."
The doorman at the club greets them & says, "Hi, Bob, how ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled & asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, the waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual & brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable & says, "How did she know you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to the table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him & says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse & storms out of the club. Bob follows & sees her getting into a cab. Before she slams the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife doesn't believe him. She is screaming at him, calling him every four-letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around & says, "Gee Bob, you picked up a real b---- this time."
Axxe55
Retiretgtshit stirrer
An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room turned to look at the very embarrassed man. In an equally loud voice, he replied, “NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION. BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room turned to look at the very embarrassed man. In an equally loud voice, he replied, “NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION. BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”
Axxe55
Retiretgtshit stirrer
A man who had been in prison for 15 years escapes. He breaks into a house to look for money & guns & finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed & ties him to a chair. Then he ties the wife to the bed, gets on top of her & starts kissing her. Then he gets up & goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict; I can tell by his clothes. He probably hasn’t seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
His wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing me; he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay & he thought you were cute & asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.”
His wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing me; he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay & he thought you were cute & asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.”
Texasgordo
TGT Addict
Texasgordo
TGT Addict
Texasgordo
TGT Addict
This is why Bob does not have a gun collection & has to play golf or go bowling. Bob is an idiot & most likely a liberal. Bob still has his Biden 2020 sign in his yard.
